Years ago I was brought in to do a program for one of the Ritz Carlton Hotel properties. While there, I learned a valuable lesson.
Whenever crossing paths with any of their staff – and I do mean any of their staff – you’ll never be greeted with the meaningless expression, “How ya’ doin’?” Nor will you be greeted with, “Hey”, “How are ya?”, “How’s it goin’?”, or “What’s up?” It’s either “Good morning”, “Good afternoon”, or “Good evening.”
Wow, that’s impressive!
Of course, every other hotel in the world – from Marriott to Hyatt; from Super 8 to Motel 6 (yes, where Tom Bodett will “leave the light on for you”) – could do that as well, without costing them an extra penny in expenses aside from the initial teaching? They could bring themselves just a notch closer to the Ritz Carlton and an all-star impression by making that one…single…adjustment.
They could…but they won’t. Why not? As the great Jim Rohn used to say, “I don’t know, they just won’t.”
We can, individually, do the same as the Ritz Carlton, and with great results. As you know, how we greet strangers, neighbors, prospects, customers and anyone else is the first impression they will have of us. And we all know the saying regarding first impressions.
Want to make a great impression? Then do away with all of the typical greeting “non-questions.” You know – those questions to which you neither expect, nor want, an answer.
“How ya’ doin’? is always the worst one to me. Why? Because I was the worst when it came to saying that. What’s better is “Good morning”, “Good afternoon”, or “Good evening.”
Or, do you know what else works just as well? A big, friendly smile that just radiates how happy you are to see them, and the word, “Hi!”
Yes, you can do the same as the Ritz Carlton.
And…I bet you will.
Would love to know, what do you think? Does a greeting really make that big of a difference? Now, what about after someone thanks you.
In the next article, we’ll look at another replacement phrase that will separate you from the rest and make you an even more effective communicator.
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A Greeting is “huge” in my book. There is nothing worse than, upon entering a store for example, an employee asking “how are ya? how are you?” …. (which is pretty much always followed by the person saying “fine thanks” even if that’s not the case, it’s the ‘standard’ response) I get it, both parties are trying to be polite, however, do they Really Care? If i was entering a Hallmark store to buy a sympathy card, do they really want to know how I REALLY feel?
I have worked in retail, I understand courtesy and being polite to customers. But what is better than hearing (instead of a general ‘how are you’?) “Good Afternoon, welcome!” Even followed by a “please let me know if i can be of help” would be great. The patrons response would be “thank you so much!” And guess what… both parties would probably mean what they’re saying!
There’s not much that beats being genuine. Not everyone cares about this sort of thing.. I do! And if i say “How are you today? Busy day?” to a cashier, I do mean it..i love striking up conversations.
However, many many times i’ll see or talk to or facebook friends with a Big Ol’ “HOW YA DOIN’?” And its out of pure genuine interest! 🙂
Whenever I approach someone with a BIG SMILE, and I always approach with a big smile, I never even need to use a word. It is almost always returned with a matching BIG SMILE from the receiver.
After that it matters not what anyone has to say, we both just feel really good 🙂
Bob
As you so often do with your thoughtful blog posts, you have taken a simple – but important – point, and challenged us (nicely :)) to do much better. THANK YOU!
My greetings have, regretfully, to often gotten rote. Shame on ME.
This is something I can cure immediately. And, I will. (I am a believer that much of the power of an uplifting greeting is cinveyed through the eyes.)
Add another to the reasons I am indebted to you.
Yes, the greeting DOES make a difference, and here is a “flip-side” of the issue. When I say “Thank you” and the response is “No problem”, I cringe! Just what does THAT mean? What ever happened to a good old-fashion “You’re welcome”?
Thomas.. I am with you on the “no problem”. My response to a Thank You: “You’re most welcome!”
Great article Bob, always refreshing. Your headlines, stop me on my tracks. Honestly, I thought it was something else, and this was actually so much better.
I have to add, I love being greeted “Good to see you!” – great for people you know. For those you are meeting for the first time, I would say, “Glad you can be here!”.
Something I learned from going to church on Sundays.
Bob, great post and it stresses the importance of really being people people. We can hide behind all this technology and get lazy or we can give half-hearted greetings and then sit back and wonder “why is no one calling me”. Be authentic and take an extra second or two to stop and shake the hand of someone you don’t know.
Cheers
Stuart Crawford
Calgary, AB
http://www.ulistic.com
I’m with you, Bob. I wonder how often people “ask” and really mean it. When I was 18, I heard a couple of co-workers exchange “How are you’s” to which I said, “Hey, you two just asked each other a question and no one answered.”
Having JUST received this (so timely), I thought I’d share: http://bit.ly/4DOLXv
Great article Bob! So on target.
A greeting without sincerity is worse than no greeting. But a sincere smile or “Good Day” greeting has the potential to truly make someones day.
I once worked for a manager that said “How ya’ doin’?” to everyone he walked by….it was so obviously without any interest it was pathetic. I always thought he would go into shock if someone actually answered. It made him appear to everyone that he cared about no one.
Another good “bad” example is when a restaurant server or manager asks “Everything good?” as they walk quickly by barely making eye contact. It drives the tip and return visits up immensely when one stops, makes eye contact and asks “How is your meal?”
There is nothing like the good feeling of someone that actually cares! I appreciate your honesty and terrific guidance Bob!
Bob, this is another perfect example of how doing a few simple things over a consistent period of time leads to success. Thanks so much for sharing this tidbits of wisdom. You are magnificent!
Yes, Bob!
You are so right, greetings make a tremendous difference! I am teaching my children that no matter where they are, make eye contact and say either, ‘good morning, afternoon, etc.’ This has been a lesson in the works for several months now, and even the people in our neighborhood tell me how different my children are than the others…why? Because they know how to greet people! A true lesson all of us can take away and make a tremendous difference in our businesses, neighborhoods, everywhere! Thanks for sharing…
Hi Bob,
I love the Ritz-Carlton for that and another phrase that they use, “my pleasure.” Just those two words show that the staff member is considering serving you as their honor. How great does that feel?
Even if it costs an arm and a leg to have even a cocktail at the Ritz-Carlton, it is worth a field trip to experience their understated, yet warm and embracing customer service.
Thanks always for your great posts.
I totally appreciate all of your wisdom-filled responses. Please allow me to respond individually…
Cesar: I so appreciate that you find my headlines to be appealing enough to want to read the articles, but I would never want to mislead. If I may ask, what did you think the article was going to be about?
Pam: Right on!
Stuart: Great!
Steve: Excellent point.
Edie: Those are terrific examples. How often do we see that happen? I’m afraid, far too often.
Glenn: Thank you. Same to you, my friend.
Laura: I remember that magnificent smile of yours when I met you at the “Endless Referrals/The Go-Giver” event in Atlanta that Kathy Smart held.
Dave: If I know you, you’ll turn that into a huge strength. You’re awesome, my friend. Thank you so much for being such an ambassador of The Go-Giver book and Extreme Business Makeovers.
Thomas: I agree wit you completely. The Ritz Carlton also taught me a wonderful response to a thank you, and that is simply to say, “My pleasure.” It’s about the only way I ever respond to a “thank you” since then.:-).
Pam: Your response is also excellent.
Hi Gail,
You must have posted your comment while I was posting my response. And, yes, I obviously agree with you regarding the words, “My Pleasure.” Too funny!
Good Morning! : ) <—–Big, Friendly Smile!
Great post, Bob. I’m from NY. And in NY, the standard greeting is “How ya’ doin’?, with the appropriate response being, “How YOU doin’?. No real conversation transpires.
It took me a long time to get past that one!
Bob,
Thanks for pointing this out and I will admit to being one of those people who alway says “How ya Doin'” I don’t know why I say it, it just comes out. I am going to start saying good morning, good evening or good afternoon from now on though.
I think that it makes a greeting makes a big difference. I say good morning, good evening or good afternoon many times, but not always. I am going to make sure I say it more often. thank you for this post.
Bob, you continue to amaze me with your posts. I have 560 little things on my list. Little things I’ve used throughout my career to make a positive impression on people, but yet you continue to bring up points I have never considered. The first impression we make on people is HUGE and it all begins with a warm friendly smile and personal greeting. I will now be intentional about not saying, How Ya Doing!
One thing I am working to improve on personally is not saying anything if I don’t have something significant to say. So many people are afraid of silence. Silence is the audio version of physical space. We all need space until we choose to let anyone else into our personal area.
Meaningless words, as discussed here, make a bad impression. May I suggest that silence might, at worst, makes no impression. A silent person might make no impression. One who has made no impression still has an opportunity, at another time, to make a good first impression.
Right on Bob! I especially love it when someone doesn’t even look up when they ask that question. I always wonder if I’m a customer or a bother to them…
I do believe the way we greet ANYONE has an impact on the communication that follows.
I had a client who was a fabulous CEO – but he’d get deep in his own thoughts and sometimes only grunt when someone came into his office, and never look up. It was a big turnoff -and made his employees think he didn’t really value them. As soon he was made aware of how his behavior was perceived by others – he changed. And every thought he was suddenly ‘happier’ with them and the state of the business.
It’s as much about the words you say as it is the fact that you look them in the eye when you say that Good Morning.
Thanks for a great post as always BB!
reb
Monique: Please accept my apologies. I somehow skipped right past you earlier without seeing your comments. That is TERRIFIC what you’re doing with your children. Great example. As kids, we were taught how to correclty meet someone and answer the phone, and those skills have served me well throughout my life and career. Great job, Monique!
Ava: The cool thing is…you *diid* get past it. Good for you!
Scott: That’s terrific. And you *will.* 🙂
Manny: Awesome!
Todd: You indeed have some terrific teaching in your archives. I appreciate your kind words about the post.
Rebel: That’s an excellent point. Interesting how a slight shift makes a huge difference, isn’t it?
As Dale Carnegie used to say… find something exceptional about the other person and then give them a sincere compliment. If you can’t find something exceptional, a smile is a great alternative.
Bob… great website! 🙂
Followed over here from your tweet…only becuase I did not have my Reader Open. Very Good advice, that I will put to use now. I am also blown away by the content in your new book Go-Givers Sell More. As soon as I finish this I am going to have to have Amazon send me the Go-Givers books.
Thank You for sharing.:)
John: Thank you for your kind words. And, yes, we can’t go wrong listening to Dale. His landmark book, “How to Win Friends…” remains one of my favorites to this day.
Mark: I absolutely agree that silence and no impression is better than something inappropriate and a bad impression. In this case, however, I think it’s pretty easy to consistently make a good impression and add value to someone else’s life by a friendly greeting and appropriate words. Just my opinion, of course.
Tom: WOW, thank you for your very kind compliment about the new book. Much appreciated!!
Bob – this is always a good reminder. We all smile in the same langauge and as communities become more multi-cultural and diverse- it’s not always what we say- but how we say it. I always encourage people to smile every day at soemone or even a few people they don’t know. Imagine if we all did that how different moving around our streets, supermarkets, airports etc would be instead of everyone scurrying around , eyes glazed , either plugged into their iPods or on their mobile phones!
Thanks for great post!
Dorothy
Hi Dororthy, fantastic, excellent and terrific advice!
“…and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!”
(couldn’t resist a movie quote!)
And, from one of my favorite movies, at that. Thank you, DebY 🙂