In Part One, we saw that – if you’re “doing it right” – you don’t give to get; you give to give. When you operate from a true spirit of providing value to others, good things happen. And, for good reason. Let’s look at just one result. And, unlike the little disclaimers on the “Get Rich Quick” infomercials, these kinds of results are indeed very typical!
In their excellent book, Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust, super blogger Chris Brogan and Julien Smith share a situation where Chris, in Las Vegas for a blogging conference, met Jessica Berlin, the social media person for a huge local production. Her purpose for attending the event was to learn how this information could help her be more productive with her work.
The conversation was pleasant and Chris and the gang provided her with good, helpful information. She also impressed them as being friendly, authentic, and, to use a term the two coauthors feature throughout the book, “One of us.”
Later that night, while leaving a conference party that was too noisy and crowded for his taste, Chris happened to see her and, offhandedly asked for suggestions she might have where he could go to escape the crowds.
Without giving it a second thought, Jennifer made a phone call resulting in VIP treatment for over 100 attendees at the hotel where she worked. All this, the result of a “previous exchange of value between {the two} earlier in the day.”
I’ll let Chris and Julien take it from here:
“Neither Berlin nor Chris were actively seeking benefits from any of these interactions. That’s the point. This is what evolves naturally. If you act like a good citizen, and you feel like One of Us, the benefits arise without much thought. It’s not the negative interaction of quid pro quo, but instead the positive concept of ‘good things happen to good people.’”
Beautifully said. When people give to give, simply because it’s who they are (and, because it’s who they are, it’s what they do), and only for the sake of providing value to others, that’s when good things happen to good people, with good people and between good people.
Have you found that to be true for you? Please share with us your experiences.
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Bob, thanks for these posts on giving to give as a core part of how you show up in this world – and not as any part of a strategy to GET. Eloquently said, my friend. You have the order right when you say “…because it’s who they are, it’s what they do”. It is a matter of being.
I see great success created when people make this shift into giving and adding value and automatically asking, “How can I serve you?” fueled by an authentic desire to help others down their desired path. In short…good stuff happens 🙂 And your point that it is not always the good stuff you might have predicted adds an excitement and joy to life – who knows what might be waiting for you in your inbox or on the other side of that ringing phone?! Giving…such a wonderful way to live!
Great post, Bob! Yes, I absolutely find this to be true and have had similar experiences. It’s simply one of those awesome rules of life and relationships 🙂 I have “Trust Agents” on my list of must-reads for 2010.
Yes! This is the distinguishing difference – giving to give, without seeking the personal benefit. If we will just learn that, the benefits always take care of themselves. Thank you Bob for another great post. Love the content and the discussion you inspire. Wonderful! Along with Shae, I have added another book to 2010 reading list. (That list is growing. I’d better get cracking!)
“you don’t give to get; you give to give”
This is so true, Bob. When you give, you express the best part of you. When you help other people, your own spirit is uplifted. When you find opportunities to be of help and to give value, you make the world better. It’s win, win, win!
Looking at the world through the lens of “What can I give? How can I help?” makes for a richer and more rewarding life.
Thanks for these great posts!
Thank you Shae, Dondi, Dr. Molly and Ava; it doesn’t surprise me to read that from the four of you. You are all walking embodiments of the term, “Go-Giver.” Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom with us.