Every so often you’ll find yourself in front of a “controlling prospect.” This is a person who wants to show you who is boss (and, as far as they’re concerned, it ain’t you!) :-). They’ll do this by asking questions – often in rapid succession – demanding fast answers. They will also demand that you answer questions, not ask them.
Today, we’ll talk about the first one; that of the rapid-fire, and how to nicely and gently gain and maintain a benevolent environment.
Although it’s often good to converse with your prospect at a similar rate of speed as they are talking, this may not be helpful in a rapid-fire situation. In this case, you need to slow down in order to get them to slow down. Once they see you won’t be intimidated into matching their speed, they’ll most likely slow down, as well, for their own comfort.
In other words, when they begin to rapid-fire, you just take your time, and have that look on your face as though you are really thinking their question through before responding (which you are). Then, rather slowly, give a thought-out response (of course, while respectfully letting them know within your answer that their question was good and valid). Then ask your own question of them.
Do this just a couple of times, and you will either gain their total respect and cooperation, or they will have to ask you why you won’t just answer their question quickly. At that point, you can gently let them know you value them enough as a person and a potential client to give them the best information you possibly can, as opposed to the fastest.
In the next article, we’ll look at how to work with the controlling prospect who demands you only answer – not ask – questions.
Have you ever had a prospect do this to you? Were you able to respond instead of react? Let us know.
Enjoy this post? Receive an update when our next post is published by entering your best email address below and clicking Get Updates.
Listen to understand rather than listen to respond.
Like the advise, simple and easy to apply in both professional and personal environments. Thank you for sharing your success.
I’ve been in sales for 30+ years and I’ve never experienced either of these situations — not that I can remember, anyway. It is possible I’ve sold to people like this and diffused their controlling efforts before they ever really got started. The whole Honest Selling suspension of self interest has this effect on people, so I may not remember it … See Moreoccurred.
The most controlling behavior I’ve ever experienced was the company president setting a meeting with me only to walk into a boardroom with 15 people expecting me to give a presentation (it was our first meeting). I said something like, “I’m sorry. Perhaps I misunderstood. I thought you and I were meeting so I could learn about your situation. I don’t know anywhere near enough about your issues to present anything today. So as I see it, we have three choices. You and I can meet one-on-one as planned right now, we can reschedule a one-on-one meeting for later or you can just ask me to leave. Are any of those choices acceptable?”
14 mouths fell open and turned to look at the pres. He dismissed everyone and I closed the deal an hour later.
Thank you, Lisa; Than you, Nick.
Gill, I haven’t experienced too many of those all-in-all but have several times and this was the most effective way I found to handle it.
I like your example a LOT. You handled it totally in accordance with how you operate and certainly communicated who you were. Way to go!
Bob, I have experienced this type of prospect and I fully agree with your suggestion. I love difficult prospects, because then I can use my strengths to win the sale.
Thank you, Todd. And, yes, the difficult ones can not only bring out our best, but help us to grow, as well.