We've discussed before how, as human beings, we tend to make decisions - both major and minor - based on very limited information. A while back, this was brought up in the context of "judging others favorably" {link to article #40}. So often we come to a quick judgment regarding another's seemingly negative actions toward us without "really" knowing the whole story.

Later, we find there was either another side of the story we couldn't possibly have known about, or we just totally missed the boat altogether - i.e., misjudged their intent from the get-go (personally, I've been guilty of both too many times to count).

This happens mainly because we filter these decisions through our personal belief systems (another topic we've discussed quite a bit of late). A belief system, like a paradigm, is basically how we view our world, our personal map - the "truth" - but only as "we" understand the truth to be.

Lately I've been reading and thinking a lot about each of these subjects, and realizing just how dramatically each comes into play in practically every personal transaction. Certainly, every disagreement involves both concepts, doesn't it? We can't possibly have all the information we need to understand another's actions or point of view when limited by (filtered through) our own personal belief system.

And the worse part is, 99 times out of 100, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW we are operating out of a different belief system than the other person. So we're disagreeing over something that we "think" we're coming at from the same angle. How frustrating!

A good start to overcoming this is to operate out of a state of "Conscious Awareness." For the next week, (actually, forever, but let's begin with the next week), every time you find yourself disagreeing with someone, or feeling offended by an action they've taken, be consciously aware that two different belief systems (two totally distinct ways of looking at the world) are now in place.

Then, realize that you are, right At "this very moment" (which is conscious awareness) most Likely making a decision - and possibly a major one - about this person and his/her words or actions, based on very, very limited information.

This will be a major step in maintaining a calm and peaceful feeling, helping you to discover and deal with the real issue, and serve you well in determining how to go about Winning Without Intimidation.

Note: The day after I wrote this article I was watching an interview on television. Both the interviewer and the guest were obviously upset by each other's viewpoints. I must admit that I was finding myself disgusted with both of their viewpoints, and judging them as human beings accordingly.

All of a sudden, I remembered to act out of "conscious awareness" and put myself "into the moment." Wow - I realized that my judgments of both of them were filtered through my personal belief systems and based on limited information about theirs.

May I propose an additional suggestion for this week's exercise from five paragraphs previous? Whenever you are watching an interview and finding yourself disgusted, or even just disagreeing, ask yourself at that moment, "Are my feelings being filtered through my personal belief system and am I making a decision about that person based on limited information?" If you're like I am, I'll bet the answer is "yes."

Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without Intimidation and The Success Formula.

He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to http:www.burg.com , then click on the link to his online store. Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.