During the Q & A part of a recent Endless Referrals: The Go-Giver Way program, a very nice woman asked a question that was obviously troubling her:

“Even after receiving a referral from someone, isn’t calling the referred prospect just one step above a cold call?”

After explaining to her that the point of the referral was to positively leverage the already-existing relationship of two people who already “know, like and trust” each other (thus, much more than simply a cold-call plus), I could see she was still quite uncomfortable.

So, we did a bit of a diagnostic. After just a few moments, it came down to the fact that she so dislikes receiving phone calls from strangers — even those referred by those she knows, likes and trusts — that she assumes that those she calls will feel the same way.

And…when she calls, they probably do. Not because she’s a bad person. On the contrary, you could sense in her essence that she is kind, sweet, lovable and terrific in every way. In fact, she had such a nice, encouraging smile, it’s difficult to think anyone wouldn’t embrace her, even over the phone.

However, because the idea of a call (even one based on a very qualified referral) from a stranger is something she finds so offensive, she transfers those feelings to her prospects.

It goes back to the old saying:

“If it doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother them.”

However, as we know, the opposite is also true.

In actuality, this post is not about calling a referred prospect. It’s about understanding that whatever we are doing when interacting with others, we need to feel so comfortable with the process that we communicate comfort, not discomfort.

In this specific context — calling a referred prospect — we do this most effectively by feeling so secure in the value we bring to that other person, that we know we are doing them a service by calling them.

How do you utilize this principle, both in the sales process and in non-sales situations?

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Off to the airport, first to Las Vegas, Nevada to speak at a corporate client event, and then on to St. Louis to speak at Dixie Gillaspie’s Dynamite Live event. Won’t be on the Internet a lot so will most likely end up responding to your comments when I return this weekend. (Just wouldn’t want ya’ ta’ think I was ignorin’ ya’!)