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“Nothing short of fantastic. I would recommend, without reservation, Bob's program to any other sales professional.”

~ Allen L. Howard, CLU, General Manager, New York Life Insurance Company

Posts Tagged ‘leaders’

Happiness: It’s Really A Personal Thing

Friday, February 28th, 2014

happinessIn a recent post, we explored happiness as being a person’s main motivation. And, that it can only be attained by acting in accordance with one’s values.

I then posed a few questions and received some excellent responses. I’d like to restate the questions here, and answer them per my own understanding.

1. How do we define happiness? One of my earlier mentors, Harry Browne, defined it as, “The mental feeling of well-being.” I agree, but take it just a bit further and say, “A genuine feeling of ongoing joy and peace of mind, the result of living in accordance with your values.”

The key in both definitions is an overall feeling rather than something temporary, though every decision we make in the moment is based on seeking happiness whether it be short or long-term. Which leads to the next question:

2. Is “a sense of” happiness different for different people? Absolutely! As Harry wrote in his wonderful book, The Secret of Selling Anything (which was as powerful a “life lesson” as it was a sales lesson), “Happiness is relative. People experience happiness in different ways. People place different values on different things. What brings happiness to one person is meaningless to another.”

This is why a big mistake leaders and salespeople make when desiring to influence others is to assume that what brings us happiness will necessarily bring them happiness. It is also why influence is always about them, not about us.

The final question was:

3. If one’s main motivation is happiness, then why do so many otherwise-intelligent people seem to make decisions that are obviously contrary to their  happiness?

While I’ve never been a big fan of cliff-hangers, let’s discuss this one in the next post. Any additional thoughts based on the above?

The Rope of Leadership and Influence

Tuesday, January 21st, 2014

Recently on Facebook and Twitter I posted the following:

“How far can you push a rope? Not very far.
That’s why true influencers don’t push.”

A reader asked, “But if you think about how hard and how often to “pull” when are you being strategic and when merely manipulative?”

I thank him for caring enough to want to use influence for good.

First, a powerful influencer does not pull hard; they pull gently.

Regarding the second part of his question, it depends whether you are thinking only of yourself without caring how it affects the other person. That would be manipulation.

On the other hand, if you are focused on helping them; combining the benefits of your goal with THEIR wants, needs, desires, goals, and values then it’s very positive; what I would call “positive persuasion.”

It’s also important to interpret the quote in context. If a person wanted to utilize the message in order to manipulate, they could. But, it’s not good business and it’s not good life.

Once you obtain a reputation for being self-centered and manipulative, you’ll find people staying away from you in droves. And, even those people who must be around you and work with you will resist and perhaps even sabotage whenever possible.

If one wants to use the message of the quote in order to benefit those they are influencing, they can do that. And, that’s what great leaders; what great influencers do.

And, that’s why they are successful.

How-far-can-you-push-a-rope-Bob-Burg

Compliance, Commitment, Values, And…Dondi

Friday, May 10th, 2013

Dondi Scumaci

“Compliance will never take you,
where commitment can go.”
~ Dondi Scumaci

As posted previously, I love that saying (what I call, a “Dondi-ism”) :-) by my great friend and mentor, Dondi Scumaci.

It reminds me that, as leaders and influencers, we always need to ask ourselves where our focus is and who it is on.

As Dale Carnegie taught us in his classic, How to Win Friends And Influence People, “Ultimately, people do things for THEIR reasons; not our reasons.”

So, in terms of the goal we are leading people to, is our focus on ourselves, or on them?…In other words, how does our goal align with THEIR goals; THEIR wants, THEIR needs, THEIR desires? And, with THEIR values?

When we question ourselves like this – intelligently, and with a genuine, authentic desire to build them – we’ve come a long way toward earning the commitment that Dondi wrote about.

Just my thoughts. What about yours?