Great question and, yes, it can be frustrating when people act that way, so let's look at a solution that will very rarely let you down.

Give a person a challenge framed in a positive manner - a positive challenge - they'll often go out of their way for you in order to meet that challenge.

My good friends, Monte and Cindy Johnson, needed quick invitations for a wedding shower. They were having no success at all with the local printers. Cindy was pleading - "We really need to get these today. We're in an emergency situation." The response: "There is no way we could possibly do that".

Looking at this closely, it's evident that when Cindy said, "We really need to get these today," she was being "I" oriented. This "should" be perfectly okay since she's the paying customer. But, as we discover every day, people (even salespeople :-)) don't do things logically, but emotionally.

Monte got on the phone with the next printer and gave him a positive challenge. He simply asked, "What's the fastest "you've" ever gotten invitations out?" The response: "Oh, we can probably get them out today."

Isn't that amazing?

Actually, no. Monte understood the "Principle of the Positive Challenge." This is an extremely effective way of Winning Without Intimidation. The difference in Cindy's and Monte's requests was that Monte phrased the challenge with a "You" orientation. "What's the fastest 'you've' ever gotten invitations out?"

Monte, who is in video production and tapes large conventions, often finds himself in a new town and may need to procure an item, such as a banner, in a hurry. He'll call a company that supplies banners and asks, "If there's any way 'you' could help me out - this just came up and 'your' help would really be appreciated. In fact, if there's any extra charge, that's fine."

According to Monte - using the positive challenge, his success rate is almost 100 percent and he hardly ever has to pay anything extra. And the supplier always feel great for having been a part of another person's solution. Now, that's WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION!

Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without Intimidation and The Success Formula.

He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to http:www.burg.com , then click on the link to his online store. Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.