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Being in control of our emotions and feelings doesn't mean we
ignore them and shut them down. It does mean that we control
them. But how? Seems easier said than done, doesn't it? In this
article, you'll learn from an expert why the term, "Going to
the Balcony" is not a reference to Broadway or Herald Square,
but is a term that can dramatically affect the way you deal
with others, as well as yourself.
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Question: An anonymous reader asks, "'Responding' instead of
'Reacting' {link article #2} sounds great, but isn't it a lot
easier said then done? Just like the person who wrote last
week, when someone verbally attacks me, I react. It's as though
I totally lose control. I know 'why' that isn't a good thing to
do, but how do I just shut down my feelings and get rid of my
wanting to attack this person right back?" -----------------------
"Going to the Balcony"
By Bob Burg
Great question, and a very realistic one as well. Let's face
it. No one likes to take abuse, nor should they have to. And
your feelings don't have to be shut down, as much as
controlled. An excellent solution to doing this effectively is
from the book "Getting Past No" (http://www.amazon.com) by Dr.
William Ury. He suggests "Going to the Balcony."
To paraphrase Dr. Ury - "You need to step back, collect your
wits, and see the situation objectively. To do this, imagine
you are on a stage. Then imagine yourself climbing onto a
balcony overlooking the stage. The 'balcony' is a metaphor for
a mental attitude of detachment. From the balcony you can
calmly evaluate the conflict almost as if you were a third
party. You can think constructively for both sides and look for
a mutually satisfactory way to resolve the problem."
My suggestion is to make a game out of this, and feel proud of
your continued improvement every time this situation presents
itself and you handle it well. After a while, you'll be a
regular "balcony guy."
Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals:
Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without
Intimidation and The Success Formula.
He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone
can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to
http:www.burg.com , then click on the
link to his online store.
Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can
subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.
Burg Communications, Inc.
PO Box 7002
Jupiter, FL 33468-7002
(800) 726-3667
bob@burg.com
Copyright 1998 Burg Communications, Inc.
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