"When confronted by our supervisor she said I didn't train her right and that's why she makes mistakes. Of course, I found this out by a third party. This all happened behind my back while I was on vacation.

"I can't let either her or the supervisor know that I know or it will put the 3rd party in bad position. It has me so upset, I want to walk out after 18 years with this company. I have NEVER had any trouble with anyone there before. Always got excellent reviews and good raises, but this is more than I can handle. I just lost my husband of 37 years about 6 months ago and can't seem to handle that and the stress she causes at work. Suggestions?"

Please allow me to share a few thoughts/suggestions with you.

I am so sorry about your husband. I'm sure that, in and of itself, must make things very difficult and, combined with the situation at work, quite stressful for you. However, please don't walk away from your job. It would be a decision based on emotion, and now is not the time to make major decisions based on emotions.

First, let me suggest that, at this point, it will be necessary to somehow separate, if possible, the anguish from the loss of your husband from the alleged behind-the-back put- downs by your co-worker. She may have a problem with lack of appreciation, lack of commitment, and possibly a dishonest acceptance of her role. She could be "passive-aggressive" and will say whatever it takes to get someone off her back, but then do (or not do) whatever she wants.

If possible, reframe this as an opportunity for growth. Keep in mind that G-d never puts any challenge in front of us which we cannot handle. We may not always understand why this is so, and why at this time, but there is always a reason.

Secondly, remember that your record speaks for itself. If you've never received a bad report, and still haven't, then you are in more of a power position than you think.

Thirdly, take your challenge with your co-worker to the supervisor, but under the premise that you do not know you have been talked about. Remember, you don't know what your supervisor heard, or what he/she thinks (or even what - if anything - was actually said about you). You were not there. And, if anything about you actually was said, your supervisor might have just brushed it off because he/she knows you well enough to know better.

However, you can certainly approach your supervisor to state the challenge you are having with her.

But . . . do this in a very factual manner, NOT an emotional manner. State the problems/challenges, and what you believe might be viable solutions. Do not let it get into a personality contest. Do not assume you know what your supervisor is thinking, but be prepared for questions he or she might ask you.

Mainly, know that everything is in G-d's hands, and will in fact work out exactly as it's supposed to.

Please let me know if this helps or if I need more information to provide a better answer.

Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without Intimidation and The Success Formula.

He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to http:www.burg.com , then click on the link to his online store. Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.