We've all encountered situations so frustrating we felt we just had to register a written complaint with the person at the top. Either we were treated rudely, a mistake wasn't corrected, or we were so inconvenienced that our experience as a consumer was practically ruined. We feel justified in writing a letter to the person in charge, and we just might be justified at that.

So how do we do it? With venom and hatred? Or with kindness, diplomacy and class? The first way will get you noticed, but probably not the results you want. The second way will get you both.

You see, "trouble-shooters" are used to complainers. And their complaints usually involve vile, scathing, fire- breathing insults. Yes, they might respond with a form letter or a formal apology (maybe even a free bag of cookies), but not much more. So what's key is to allow them to experience a customer they don't generally experience.

When writing your letter of complaint, state the facts with humility. Begin with praise. Mention that you've always enjoyed doing business with them (and referring them to others, if true) and that you certainly don't know nearly as much about their business as they do. Then, when you mention your challenge, your credibility increases even more.

Example: You've just visited several different locations of a particular franchise, and found the service and attitudes of the employees abysmal at each one. You decide to write the company C.E.O. herself.

Here's how the letter (in brief form) might basically look:

Dear Ms. Jones,

"My name is Tom Davis. I'm a fellow entrepreneur and a very loyal and usually quite satisfied customer who has enjoyed using and referring your products for years.

I thought you might be interested in a few recent incidents at your Florida stores. Unfortunately -- and very unlike my usual experience with your company's excellent customer service people - I was put in a very challenging situation that didn't work to the advantage of your store, myself, or the other customers.

"Had this event happened once, even twice, I'd have shrugged it off knowing your company's exceptional dedication to your customers. After three separate occurrences -- although I certainly don't pretend to know your business -- quite frankly, I thought you might want to know."

Thank you for your time. Make it a great day."

The chances are excellent you'll receive a personal letter, if not a phone call, from either the C.E.O. herself or someone very high up in the organization.

I can tell you that from personal experience as I've written letters for myself, as well as for people close to me. And in some of these instances we are talking about major corporations NO ONE thought would ever answer.

You see, people in that position place a lot more importance on a complaint made by someone who acts humbly, logically and civilly. They have to deal with ranters, ravers and screamers all day long. Those people are "a dime a dozen."

By positioning yourself apart from the crowd, you become a customer of increased value, and as such, increase your chances dramatically of WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION.

Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without Intimidation and The Success Formula.

He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to http:www.burg.com , then click on the link to his online store. Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.