In a recent segment of A Minute with Maxwell, where Leadership Authority, Dr. John Maxwell extemporaneously speaks on a word sent in by a subscriber, the word was “Try.’

Now, this is an interesting word because, first, like many, it has different meanings and connotations. Also, like most words, it triggers different meanings and contexts based on the belief system of the individual.

I thought that – as always – Dr. Maxwell handled the word with excellence. You can watch it here (and, subscribe to his series, if you’d like. I watch these minute-long gems practically every day. He’s an exceptional teacher).

I’d like to look at three different concepts of the word try:

1. Non-Committment. Most of us have, at one time or another, asked someone to do something and they responded, “I’ll try.” Did they ever do it? Probably not. Why? Because they were not committed. By and large, the time one is most “committed to a thing” is at the point of decision. If they’re so uncommitted as to say “I’ll try” at the moment they are asked, it makes sense they won’t be any more committed as time passes. Please understand, unless they are “consciously saying no without having to say no” they might not even be aware of their own lack of commitment.
2. “Do or do not. There is no try.” Interesting that this lesson from Yoda is perhaps my favorite movie line. More interesting is that I’ve never actually seen that movie. Actually, I still haven’t seen E.T. either but, hey, sometimes I’m a bit slow off the mark. Now, while this example is somewhat related to the above example, it’s not quite the same.This one has to do with the person who truly desires to accomplish something, but perhaps doesn’t really believe it’s possible, or that it’s possible for him or her. And, this was the point of Yoda’s admonishment. Perhaps it’s one of my favorite sayings because I relate to the times I didn’t have the confidence to do something though, in fact, it was very doable.
3. Try it – you might like it. This one doesn’t imply commitment or expectation (from yourself). It simply says that, if you are open to a new experience, go ahead and experiment. Try it. It may or may not be something that’s for you, but at least you checked it out.

In the world of personal development, the word “try” is often maligned. And, sometimes for good reason. However, like most everything, it’s probably best to first place it in its proper context. Sometimes, it’s a good thing. Other times, counterproductive.

What do you think?

I recently tweeted and posted on Facebook one of my favorite thoughts:

“Just because you think it doesn’t mean you have to say it.
Self-editing before speaking can help avoid much regret.”

It seemed as though practically everyone who commented could relate, not only to the statement itself, but that we’ve all fallen victim to our own lack of heeding it. I know I have. Make that, I know I have!

At live events, when discussing self-editing, I’ll often receive a question. It generally goes something like:

“But Bob, doesn’t self-editing; watching what we say; being careful that it isn’t hurtful, insulting, rude, or simply the wrong thing to say…doesn’t that take a lot of work? I mean, isn’t it difficult?”

And, the short answer is, YES, it is difficult.

The longer answer is, Yes, it is difficult. And, like any habit, the more we practice, the less difficult it is. The more we focus on improving upon this trait; the easier and more natural it becomes. As we retrain the pathways in our brain, self-editing becomes more natural and, in time, while we may not master it, we can certainly become a lot more proficient in this regard.

Have you found this to be true?

In the previous post we saw that not everyone who we believe will benefit from our products or services will choose to buy. And, while we cannot be emotionally attached to the outcome and still be effective, we can still do our best to help them. The key is to both understand and respect the fact that the final decision is theirs.

With that in mind, I will always remember something shared with me by a very wise man by the name of Bill Gove.

Ahhhh, Bill was one of my early speaking mentors, as he was for just about everyone else in the business around that time. The great man — a national sales champion in his day — passed on years ago. Very few people were as kind, thoughtful and generous as Bill.

I would guess that Bill shared this advice with his numerous other proteges, since so many of us quote it as a matter of course.

He said, “Bob, you are responsible to your audience, but not for them. You are responsible to them to be prepared, to put forth the very best information you can and share it in such a way that it can be effectively utilized. You are responsible to them for that.

“But” he continued, “you are not responsible for them. You cannot control who chooses to use that information and benefit from it. That is up to them.”

What terrific advice. And, I believe it applies to all of us in sales, regardless of the “audience” whether one-on-one, committee or huge crowd.  I believe that whether we’re talking about products, services, or the solutions designed to help them, the attitude Bill suggests is a vital part of a successful selling career. And, for that matter, any type of interpersonal persuasion process. Why? Because…

#1 Attachment Is A Turnoff. If we have too much emotion invested in their taking a certain action, it’ll show through, and that person will probably follow the natural human tendency to resist that  which they feel is being pushed upon them.

And…

#2 It Fortifies Us. When we can walk away without emotional attachment to the results, or, what I call “Positive Detachment” (also known as “posture”), it strengthens us when trying to help the next person. And that person might just take our advice.

So, yes, when selling, care. Care about helping them, care about serving them, care about providing them value. You are responsible for that part of process. But, don’t get too caught up in the result. You are not responsible, nor can you ethically control their decisions.

Indeed, you are responsible to them…but not for them.