Before we can influence others, we must first be able to influence ourselves that we have something of value to offer. I mean, if *we* wouldn’t listen to us…why would anyone else?

At my live programs, I often bring up the story of my great friend, Amy Wells, owner of The Bridal Salon of San Antonio, Texas. After attending a program she decided to shift one part of her business model — from discounting (an industry norm) to selling at full price — by focusing on the value she could provide to her clients.

“When you sell on price you are a commodity.
When you sell on value you are a resource.”
– Me

As Amy told me during a recent conversation, “first, I had to really understand the value I had to offer them. Once I understood it myself, communicating it to them became easy.”

Wow!

The influence you have on others is a direct result of the influence you first have on yourself.

So, readers and friends…how do you influence yourself regarding the exceptional value you have to offer your prospects, customers and clients?

Last week I attended a two-day Implementation Accelerator at Infusionsoft Headquarters just outside Phoenix, Arizona. You might be familiar with the company; they are well-known for their high-quality marketing automation software. They also have a reputation for extraordinary customer support. We’ve been utilizing their software for several years.

Because we’ve wanted to make our Certified Go-Giver Coach program more scalable, thus available to more people, my “de facto” business partner, Kathy Zader (a/k/a, Agent 99 – meaning she does all the work while I, Maxwell Smart/Agent 86 get all the credit) and I participated in this implementation intensive.

Their large headquarters is an old sports complex so one area is literally on synthetic turf with football yardage markings (too cool!). Another area is a basketball court. And, all over the high walls are written proclamations regarding their values, mission, vision, and goals, all totally customer-focused. The two-day implementation lived up to every one of their stated intentions.

To say it was excellent would not do it justice. To say they came through on everything they promised would be a drastic understatement. To point out how meticulously they focused on providing value to their customers would not come even close to qualifying their commitment.

But, it was the shuttle service that actually underscored the heart of this company.

Here’s what happened: On the first day, after being greeted by the very sweet and helpful Infusionsoft Executive Assistant, Alyssa, the shuttles which they’d arranged to transport the attendees from the hotel to headquarters took more time than expected. This, because most of us had gathered around the same time. Now, please understand that it was totally “no biggie” and – as far as I know – none of us gave it a second-thought.

The morning of the second day, however, was totally different. There was no line; no waiting. In fact, several of us thought we might have arrived late.

“Not at all” Alyssa explained. “I didn’t like that you all had to wait yesterday so I arranged to have more shuttles and for them to begin arriving earlier so it would be more convenient for everyone.”

Wow! This speaks volumes; about the company, and the alignment between their stated and actual values.

1. They live what they do. They help people systemize their businesses by implementing better, more effective processes. And, that’s what they did for their own implementation even just in terms of making their shuttle service more effective.

2. They focus on delighting their customers…Now! They didn’t think about it and decide to do it “next time.” And, they weren’t interested in simply satisfying their customers. Their goal was to WOW us, and do it now! And, they did both!

3. They trust their team members to know and follow their values. Alyssa did not have to send memos up through a bureaucratic maze in order to make this happen. She was empowered to do what needed to be done. And, she did!

T. Harv Eker says, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” Yes, the little things done by an individual or a company speaks volumes regarding how they’ll do the big things.

And, Infusionsoft — and their entire team — proved this to be true from beginning to end.

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{Note: Give us just a couple more weeks and we’ll have the brand-new system for the Certified Go-Giver Coach program implemented and ready to go.}

I’m currently reading an outstanding book coauthored by former Procter & Gamble Chairman & CEO, A.G. Lafley and uber-consultant and bestselling author, Ram Charan entitled, The Game-Changer.

Early in the book, Lafley stated the following:

“Our first goal at P&G is to delight our consumers at two ‘moments of truth.’ First, when they buy a product, and second, when they use it.”

Is this true only for multi-billion dollar corporations? Surely not. I’d say it holds just as true for the mid-sized business, the small firm and the solo entrepreneur? And, for those selling products or services.

We must delight those who do business with us; not just once, but twice. To me, the second part would seem to be a function of the product or service itself and how it meets/exceeds their needs (this is often the result of much groundwork and research and beyond the scope of this post)

What about the first part, though. How do you delight your consumers at that first moment of truth…during the buying process?

I can only imagine the wisdom that will be shared via your responses.

Today is the launch of John David Mann’s and my new book, It’s Not About You. This story, set in the same fictional town as The Go-Giver, expands on the first book’s Third Law, The Law of Influence. We see what happens when an unexpectedly wise mentor by the name of Aunt Elle takes the ambitious young Ben under her wing and shifts his focus in a way he never expected.

Here is a brief article highlighting just one of the ideas in the book. As usual, it’s a bit counterintuitive. I hope you enjoy it.

Yield
By Bob Burg and John David Mann

“The less you say, the more influence you’ll have. Do you know why that is?” asks Aunt Elle, the mildly eccentric octogenarian in our book It’s Not About You.

No, admits the protagonist, a struggling young executive named Ben, he does not.

“Because,” she says, “the more you yield, the more power you have.”

Ben hasn’t a clue what she’s talking about, and it’s easy to sympathize with him. On the face of it, this makes no sense at all. Doesn’t yielding mean giving up, giving in, saying “You win” without even a fight?

Not quite. In fact, yielding is one of the greatest secrets to great accomplishment in any sphere where other human beings are involved.

Yield does mean give, but not give in, and certainly not give up. It simply means, give the other person room to go first. Think about the traffic sign. Yield.

In negotiating prices, yield doesn’t mean go with their price — it simply means, let them make the first offer. In a potentially heated debate, yield means giving the other person room to have their point heard — and giving some time and space for overwrought feelings to calm.

Conscious yielding is the secret of judo, jiu-jitsu and aikido: instead of trying to overpower the opponent with force, let their move have full expression.

Yield.

Abraham Lincoln was once told by a reporter that another government official had sharply criticized him. What did the president have to say about that? “I have great respect for the man,” replied Lincoln, “and if he has concerns about me, there must be some truth to it.”

The criticism was intended to draw Lincoln into a skirmish that would have distracted him from other business. Instead, his comment not only deflected the critique but also won the hearts of both friends and foes–and allowed the president to keep his focus on the more important issues at hand.

Lincoln’s maneuver was what a boxer calls a parry.

Watch a boxing match and you’ll notice that when one fighter throws a jab–a straight punch, usually with the left hand–the target will wait until the punch almost hits him and then deflect it away with the slightest flick of the right wrist. And here’s the amazing thing: the harder the punch, the less effort it takes to parry it.

This is exactly what Lincoln did. He yielded.

And in yielding, he won.

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Feel free to visit www.INAYbook.com where you can download the first two chapters to see if you enjoy the story. It’s available at amazon.com.

In John David Mann’s and my soon-to-be-released book, It’s Not About You, Aunt Elle defines Influence as an unseen flow of power.

Power. This should not be confused with force. The two are completely different. True power brings with it agreement, leading to commitment. Force is based on intimidation, manipulation and other negative forms of energy. This results — at most — in compliance and usually nothing more.

As the great author and Leadership authority, Dondi Scumaci says, “Compliance will never take you where commitment can go.”

Leaders influence others. And, they do this not through pushing (as Aunt Elle asks her protege, Ben, “how far can you push a rope?”) but through their pull. She continues by saying. That’s why we don’t talk abut how much push we might have with someone, but rather, how much pull.”

“Pull” … she tells Ben … “is the substance of influence. Not push.”

You want to lead a team? Or, influence another? Be sure not to push. Just pull. Gently and lovingly pull.

What great leaders and influencers do you most identify with pull rather than push?

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Would you like to download Chapters One and Two of our new business fable, It’s Not About You? Click here.