“Compliance will never take you,
where commitment can go.”
~ Dondi Scumaci

As posted previously, I love that saying (what I call, a “Dondi-ism”) by my great friend and mentor, Dondi Scumaci.

It reminds me that, as leaders and influencers, we always need to ask ourselves where our focus is and who it is on.

As Dale Carnegie taught us in his classic, How to Win Friends And Influence People, “Ultimately, people do things for THEIR reasons; not our reasons.”

So, in terms of the goal we are leading people to, is our focus on ourselves, or on them?…In other words, how does our goal align with THEIR goals; THEIR wants, THEIR needs, THEIR desires? And, with THEIR values?

When we question ourselves like this – intelligently, and with a genuine, authentic desire to build them – we’ve come a long way toward earning the commitment that Dondi wrote about.

Just my thoughts. What about yours?

What a joy to present recently in Del Mar, California at the Think and Grow Rich Summit 2013. Hosted by speaker/author, Tony Rubleski in conjunction with the Napoleon Hill Foundation, it was three days jam-packed with terrific speakers, authors, thought and business leaders. While I could only stay for part of it, every speaker I saw rocked the house and, from what I heard, the rest of them did the same.

The focus of the event was on how the principles from the classic by Napoleon Hill touched so many lives and every speaker included that as part of their presentation.

While I spoke on The Five Laws from John David Mann’s and my book, The Go-Giver, it was very easy to cite numerous instances where its message was greatly influenced by Think And Grow Rich. And, as I re-read it just prior to the conference I happened upon a paragraph that has always been one of my favorites.

It’s step number five in Dr. Hill’s Self-Confidence Formula within his chapter on Faith (the book was published in 1937):

“I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon truth and justice; therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me, because of my willingness to serve others. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness, and cynicism by developing love for all humanity, because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me because I will believe in them, and in myself.”

If you go through the above paragraph and make a study of it, you’ll see that it calls for you to focus on being of service (value) to others. It calls for you to focus on that, and on them. It calls for you to genuinely and continually place their interests first. And, in every aspect of such, you receive in-kind.

There is such immense brilliance in that paragraph, isn’t there?

What did you receive from that paragraph that I might have missed? And, how do you do in terms of applying Dr. Hill’s wisdom in this regard?

As human beings we operate out of a Belief System based on factors including upbringing, environment, schooling, news media, television shows, movies, etc., etc., etc.

Our beliefs, paradigms, world-views, world-models, or whatever words we choose to utilize that really says, “this is how I see the world — it is my version of how the world operates” — is the sum total of all that we have experienced since birth.

As human beings, we also tend to believe that others see the world the same way we do. I mean, how could it be any different? We cannot intuitively see someone else’s view. So, we assume our view is also their view.

Or, as Judi Piani, author of the book, Trait Secrets says, “Normal is what *I* am.”

Yes, we think that others see the world as we see it. And, we are usually incorrect in that assumption. And, it confuses us.

Example: Have you ever felt wronged by someone and said to a friend, “I would never say that to someone.” Or, “I would never act like that.”

No, YOU wouldn’t. But they would, because that fits their world model.

This is one reason why taking the words and actions of others personally can be so counter-productive to our own sense of happiness and peace of mind.

Solution? No, we do not have to agree with their world view. We don’t even have to understand their world view.

We just need to understand that their world view is their world view, different from ours. And, that everything they think, feel, say and do will be be based on that frame or premise.

Now, we can be more at peace. After all, it isn’t us. It’s them.

Or, is it?

———-

On Tuesday, April 23rd I’ll be speaking in Memphis, Tennessee, at my friend, Don Hutson’s The Prosperity Series event. Then on Thursday, I’ll be speaking at the Think And Grow Rich Summit 2013 in Del Mar, California.

If you’ll be in either of those areas, I hope you can join us.

Are all givers financially successful? Not necessarily. Are all givers financially unsuccessful? Not necessarily.

What about takers? Or…matchers?

In this fascinating new book by Adam M. Grant, we learn that not all “givers” are what you and I would call “Go-Givers.” Though, we also learn that pretty much all takers are what we would call “go-takers.”

So, why are some types of givers hugely successful in practically every facet of their lives while other givers are the proverbial “doormats?” And, can one change from doormat giver to ultra-successful giver? (Hint: Yes!)

By the way, must one be either selfless or selfish? Actually, it turns out neither one is particularly productive.

On the other hand, what about… “Otherish?”

This was amazing: Remember Kenneth Lay, the major villain in the Enron scandal? He appeared to many to be a giver. But, of course, he was the ultimate taker. It turns out the warning signs were there long before it finally came to the surface. And, in retrospect, it wasn’t that difficult to see? The author tells us how we could have known, had we only known what to look for.

In this masterpiece of a book, we learn the who, what, when, where, why and how of a topic that can open up entire new worlds of understanding; both about how human beings operate…and about your personal and professional success.

And, it’s a great read. While highly-researched, it is filled with entertaining stories that begin with counter-intuitive points and are then brought home in a way that causes the reader to say, “of course, makes perfect sense!” Sort of a “Malcom Gladwell’s Outliers meets Robert Cialdini’s Influence.”

At just 31, Dr. Grant is the youngest tenured professor at the prestigious Wharton Business School as well as its single highest-rated professor. An award-winning researcher, teacher and corporate consultant, he is also a record-setting salesperson; the lesson from which he would use as a basis for his subsequent work on this topic. Dr. Grant is a former Junior Olympic springboard diver as well as a professional magician.

He also happens to be as humble and kind as he is brilliant.

Enjoy our chat.

Did some of what Professor Grant said shock or surprise you? What key takeaways did you receive that will affect the way you see giving, taking and receiving? How will the information in this chat change two things for you: your awareness of your own style…and the awareness of others’ styles?

Please feel free to share with us.

TECHNICAL NOTE: If you are having trouble playing the interview, please make sure Adobe Flash Player is installed in your web browser. If not, then download Flash Player. Or right-click here to download and select “Save Link As…” to download the audio file to your computer.

If you are one of the many whose sales and marketing results took a giant leap upwards after studying Book Yourself Solid, then you know about Michael Port. While he gears his teaching mainly to owners of service-based business, his ingenious system will work for practically anyone who desires to provide great value to the lives of many customers and clients.

His newest work is somewhat of a re-creation of the original, but with a twist, and a huge one at that. It’s entitled, Book Yourself Solid ILLUSTRATED: The Fastest, Easiest, and Most Reliable System for Getting MORE Clients Than You Can Handle Even if You Hate Marketing and Selling. It has a lot less words to go along with very easy-to-follow pictures. And, the book’s “Visual Strategist” Jocelyn Wallace did an absolutely superb job of visually articulating Michael’s teachings.

In this chat, we’re going to discuss one chapter. And, if you will follow the advice Michael teaches regarding “The Four-Part Sales Formula,” you will most likely become much more effective when you ask for the sale. Simple as that. What he said was so important, we basically summed up our chat by running through it again.

Enjoy this chat with Michael Port:

The four modules Michael takes us through in his book include:

1. Your Foundation: This includes his famous Red Velvet Rope Policy and developing your personal brand.
2. Building Trust & Credibility: In this module he shows how to build credibility and likeability, his sales cycle process and more.
3. Perfect Pricing and Simple Selling: Along with what we discussed today, you’ll learn about “Perfect Pricing.”
4. The 6 Core Self-Promotion Strategies: Includes, Networking, Direct Outreach, Referrals, Websites and more.

NOTE: If you are having trouble playing the interview, please make sure Adobe Flash Player is installed in your web browser. If not, then download Flash Player. Or right-click here and select “Save Link As…” to download the audio file to your computer.