In Part One, we met Michael J. Maher, a titan in the field of real estate sales. A hugely successful producer and leader, we saw that one of his major character traits was his  “other-focus.” His business card told the story:  “We’re not #1…YOU are.®”

But lest we think that is an anomaly, I assure you it is not. The fact is, most genuinely great leaders and top producers are very much like that. And, while they might be few and far between (after all, they are in that 1-5 percent), they’re also not hard to find. Other-Focused superstars in the business world are the rule. Are there exceptions to that rule? Certainly there are. But, that’s life; it has its exceptions. What we want to focus on is the general rule.

Which, brings up a question, “Could that genuine caring and focus on others really be the key determining factor between the average/good…and those at the very top?

Let’s look at the three Key areas where most would think the difference lay.

1. Belief in product/service, mission: That would seem to be the key, wouldn’t it? But, it isn’t. Many average and decent producers believe in what they are selling just as much as those at the top. Belief is important. It’s just not the determining factor.

2. Product Knowledge: Don’t the superstars know their products inside and out? Yes, they do. And, so do many of the average and good players. Again, important? Very! Just not that which makes the difference.

3. Sales Skills: Ahh, the mega salespeople absolutely study sales. They know the skills, methods, techniques, and everything in that genre, right? Right. And, you know what? So do many of the average and good sales people. Some even more-so than their counterparts who set sales records. Important? Yep. Determining factor? Nope.

Please don’t misunderstand; proficiency – extreme proficiency in all three of the above areas; belief, product knowledge and sales skills is extremely vital.

However, they’re merely the baseline. Like the baseball player who can hit, run and field, those are needed just to be invited into the game.

The difference; the x-factor; that which separates the top pros from the rest of the field is the focus. They are totally and wholeheartedly interested in and focused on the other person, and that person’s needs, wants and desires.

When it comes right down to it, the sales (and leadership) superstar understands this basic rule of sales:

“It isn’t about you; it’s about them.” Or, as Michael J. Maher summed it up so perfectly, “We’re not #1…YOU are.®”

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John David Mann’s and my new book, Go-Givers Sell More is available by clicking here. Order this week and receive several really cool bonuses. And, please pass along the link to anyone you feel might find it to be of value.

It was an honor to have coffee the other day (at Dunkin’ Donuts, of course) with a legend in the real estate profession.

I’d heard of Michael J. Maher but knew little about him. We had some mutual friends from Kansas City, which is where he lives.  Due to an intense work week in preparation of the release of John David Mann’s and my newest book, I wasn’t even able to make the 30 minute drive three towns up the road from me where he was speaking at a charity fundraising event. I felt terrible about that but knew I couldn’t be away for that long.

He found himself a car and drove down to meet me, after being stood up by the original person who had promised to drive him down.

Humble as can be, he was absolutely more interested in knowing about me and my work than he was in telling me about his. He asked genuinely inquisitive questions, and kindly shared his philosophy about business, those he works with, and the customers and clients he serves.

I found out from other people I spoke with afterward that he is one of real estate’s heavy hitters, a mega-producer who received over 500 referrals last year and accounted for 216 transactions!

This is in real estate, mind you; not exactly a booming industry these days. And all but three of those sales came by the traditional methods, no shortcuts.

I then heard an interview he did with my friend, Jim Sahnger. Easy to see why he’s so exceptional at what he does.

His business card has one statement on it that captures him and – as far as I’ve ever been able to tell – is the single biggest trait or characteristic that sets people like Michael apart from the rest of the pack. It said:

We’re not #1…YOU are. ®

In Part Two, we’ll dig a bit deeper into this one key factor and look at a few others that would seem to be more significant than they actually are.

If you’ve ever attended one of my live presentations or read any of my books (well, just about any of them), you know how much I value handwritten, personalized notes; especially after meeting someone for the first time, doing business with them, receiving a referral, etc.

That’s not to say emails aren’t great; I certainly send a lot of them. However, there’s a time and place for everything. And, in certain situations, practically nothing makes an impact like a handwritten note of appreciation.

My friend, Bob Sommers – “The Likeability Guy” -  a very popular speaker and consultant based in Hawaii blogged about a local business woman who sent he and his wife, Susan a letter about something (i.e., someone) very special to them.

Darbee Fisher, a Realtor with Keller Williams, knows how it’s done. Wow, does she! Note what was so special about her letter that provided meaning – and impact – even above and beyond. And then find a way to duplicate her idea.

Read Bob Sommers’ excellent blog post and please share with him – and with us – your thoughts.

Yesterday on Twitter and then on Facebook I posted the following:

“Sales Suggestion: Unless you’re talking baseball, leave

the word “pitch” totally out of your vocabulary.”

I’d also add removing it from your consciousness.

Why does that one little word bother me (and many other sales professionals) so much?

Well, because words are important. I remember first learning from the great sales trainer Tom Hopkins, in his book, How to Master The Art of Selling that some words instill a prospect with confidence and other words cause fear and concern. “Pitch” would be in the second category.

Think about it. What is the most noted use of the word, “pitch” (singers and roofers please forgive me)? That’s right; an action taken by a pitcher in baseball And, what is the pitcher’s job? To strike the batter out.

In other words, a pitch is something you do to someone and not with good intent.

In sales, you’re doing something for someone (or, even with someone) with the best intent; adding value to their lives.

“Okay, but, does it really hurt to use that word when you’re not in front of a prospect or customer?”

I believe it does, for two reasons:

First, if you’re using it, that is how you’re thinking of the sales process, whether you realize it consciously or not.

Secondly, if you’re using it when you’re not in front of someone you shouldn’t use it in front of, you’ll probably one day mistakenly use it in front of someone you shouldn’t use it in front of.

Habits are key.

So, what would be a good replacement word for “pitch?”

How about “presentation.”

Do you agree? Disagree? Am I being to word-focused? I’d love to know your thoughts.

In yesterday’s post, we learned how to effectively work with one kind of “Controlling Prospect.” This person’s way of controlling you and the presentation is to ask questions in rapid-fire succession, quick and unrelenting, firing off another one as soon as you answer the current one. This is intended to keep you, the salesperson, off-balanced and defensive.

Now knowing how to handle that situation, let’s look at how to work with another type of controlling prospect. This person not only demands that you quickly answer their questions; they don’t want you to ask your own questions, and become angry when you do.

Allow me to reconstruct a presentation I was making to an extremely controlling dentist and his wife back in my in-home selling days. He would ask me questions and, instead of my answering quickly, as he desired, I attempted to ask him questions that would help me to analyze their needs for the product I was then selling.

Suddenly, he said, “Listen, I’m the customer – I’ll ask you the questions, and you give me straight answers, okay!?” (If you’re thinking, “Why take that abuse – why not just leave then and there?” there were two reasons. First, back then, I really needed the money and prospects such as he were a definite part of my job. Secondly, what would have been the fun in leaving?)

Me (gently): That’s fine (always agree first), but aren’t you a dentist?

Dentist (a bit bewildered at my question): Yeah, why?

Me (with a look of confusion on my face): If I’m sitting in your dentist’s chair as a patient with an excruciatingly painful tooth-ache, you’re going to ask me questions such as, “which tooth hurts?” and “how long have you been feeling discomfort?” and other pertinent questions, right?

Doc: Yeah, so what?

Me (tactfully): Now, what if I said to you “I’m the patient, I’ll ask the questions – you just fix the tooth.” Wouldn’t that make it sort of difficult for you to help me?

As I said that to him, he and his wife began to chuckle, we all smiled and he replied, “Yes, I see what you mean.”

Briefly, if/when this ever happens to you (and, really, it probably won’t very often), relax, don’t be intimidated, and in a very diplomatic fashion, have a question in mind that will gently but immediately move your prospect to understanding why it’s in their best interest for you to ask questions.

Every so often you’ll find yourself in front of a “controlling prospect.” This is a person who wants to show you who is boss (and, as far as they’re concerned, it ain’t you!) . They’ll do this by asking questions – often in rapid succession – demanding fast answers. They will also demand that you answer questions, not ask them.

Today, we’ll talk about the first one; that of the rapid-fire, and how to nicely and gently gain and maintain a benevolent environment.

Although it’s often good to converse with your prospect at a similar rate of speed as they are talking, this may not be helpful in a rapid-fire situation. In this case, you need to slow down in order to get them to slow down. Once they see you won’t be intimidated into matching their speed, they’ll most likely slow down, as well, for their own comfort.

In other words, when they begin to rapid-fire, you just take your time, and have that look on your face as though you are really thinking their question through before responding (which you are). Then, rather slowly, give a thought-out response (of course, while respectfully letting them know within your answer that their question was good and valid). Then ask your own question of them.

Do this just a couple of times, and you will either gain their total respect and cooperation, or they will have to ask you why you won’t just answer their question quickly. At that point, you can gently let them know you value them enough as a person and a potential client to give them the best information you possibly can, as opposed to the fastest.

In the next article, we’ll look at how to work with the controlling prospect who demands you only answer – not ask – questions.

Have you ever had a prospect do this to you? Were you able to respond instead of react? Let us know.

My friend, Art Sobczak  (pronounced Sub check), President of Business By Phone,Inc. is among the world’s most highly-regarded experts on tele-selling. But, from my years of reading his works, I can tell you he is simply an expert at sales, through-and-through. In this article (excerpted), Art briefly takes us through a terrific sales process where he was the prospect, then adds an exceptionally valuable insight.

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I was looking at a couple of pieces of office furniture  from different dealers. One was more expensive than the other, but I liked it more, and the sales rep knew that.

After I hemmed and hawed awhile about hesitating because of the price, he said,

“Two years from now, after you have been enjoying this for awhile, and have forgotten what you paid for it, do you think you will have made the right choice?”

Wow, what a great question! Of course I bought it.

In one of my first corporate-life sales positions, a wise trainer said to me,

“There are no price objections, only value questions.”

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WOWEE WOW! Now, that was some great advice, from the salesperson, from the trainer, and from Art.

Art, thank you for allowing me to share this.

I find I learn from every article I read from Art’s ezine and recommend it highly to anyone in sales.

So, what lessons did you take away from Art’s teaching?

In Part One, we addressed a couple examples of proper and effective responses a new (and/or young in age) salesperson might provide a concerned prospect regarding the issue of youth and inexperience.

But, as I explained to the young man, while the response is simple, there is a bigger challenge he must overcome. And, that is the very fear itself of it being an issue for the prospect. And, a major part of this fear is his own issue with it.

What I didn’t divulge in the previous article was that this was the third time I’d heard from him with the same basic challenge; that he’d again been questioned about being so young.

Here’s part of what I wrote him in response:

“Notice how this continues to come up. As I suggested in our last correspondence, you might be signaling your own discomfort with your being new and inexperienced, and/or a fear of their discomfort with it, and vibrating that fear. When you do this, they will pick up on it. Paraphrasing the ancient verse, that which you fear the most has a good chance of coming true.

“Best is to just leave it alone. Of course, prepare your response in the event the objection comes up. And then simply put it aside. If someone brings it up, you answer the same basic way we discussed previously; that while you’re relatively new with this position you are blessed to have a very experienced mentor who has taken you under his wing, thus your customers and clients get access to two minds instead of just one. Or, however you decide to frame your answer. You can also bring up the fresh perspective you bring to the picture and whatever else you feel presents a positive frame.

“If you know your answer in advance and feel comfortable with it, and, more importantly, as you become more comfortable with yourself and less concerned with your youth and inexperience, then that question will all but disappear completely.” 

In other words, “If (or when)  it doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother them.”

Awesome readers and friends; your thoughts?

A young reader who has just joined the world of professional selling asked how he could overcome questions and concerns from prospects he receives regarding his youth and inexperience. He claims he is asked about this constantly and feels he has no legitimate way to respond.

I explained that (based on the limited information I have) there seem to be two dynamics at work here:

The first is, indeed, his actual youth and inexperience. It certainly makes sense that a prospect would want to know their needs will be met, and that the person handling their account has the knowledge, wisdom and experience to do so properly.

Fortunately, this concern is easily overcome by letting the prospect know the benefit to them:

Example: “I’m very fortunate to be partnering with a sales manager who is also truly a mentor, and who works with me very closely. The good news is that because I’m relatively new to this company, you’ll have a great deal of my personal attention, as well as her years of experience.” 

It goes without saying that the above must be true in order for you to say it. Adjust it accordingly depending upon your unique situation. It might be as simple as, “I appreciate your concern. While our company training program is exceptional, I’m even more grateful for the team of experienced team members behind me that take every client’s situation very, very personally.”

Author and Strategist, Ava Diamond suggests turning this perceived disadvantage into an advantage by adding that you are also able to bring a fresh perspective to situations without being locked inside the model of “the way it’s always been done.” 

Yes, learn what you need to say, and practice it to the point that you absolutely know it and it becomes a part of your being.

However, recall that I said there were two dynamics at work. Overcoming the first one is easy. In tomorrow’s article, we’ll look at the far more difficult challenge our young salesman – and anyone else in his position – must be able to successfully overcome.

Any thoughts on what it might be?

Over the past two articles we saw from Liz Lynch that astute networkers approach a new possible business relationship by focusing, not on how the other person might be able to help him or her but on how they could possibly help the other person. In other words, purposely and purposefully taking your eyes off of yourself (me-focused) and concentrating on how you can add value to them (other-focused)

We learned from Thomas Power that this could be called, “the willing suspension of self-interest.”

And, because those who approach networking like this naturally elicit from others the “Know, like and trust” feelings crucial to developing both direct and referral business, they tend to thrive…and big-time!

What then, is the danger I referred to at the conclusion of the last article?

It’s, what I call, the “emotional attachment to payback.” It’s thinking that – because you have added value to this person’s life – they should; they must find a way to add value to yours; that you are now entitled to their being focused on you. In The Go-Giver Sam explains to Joe that this is trading or “keeping score” rather than giving. And people see through that quicker than a…than a…well, they see through it pretty quickly in most cases.

I refer to this as a trap because it’s easy to get “caught” in it without realizing, until too late. We want things now and – if we don’t get them now – there must be something wrong. And, it isn’t so.

There are those who might take what I’m saying as, “give without expectation.” But, I don’t believe that’s accurate. I want you to expect to receive; just not to be emotionally attached to having to receive…from that specific source or anyone else.

Give, not to get, but simply to give. Give because you truly enjoy adding value to others. Suspend your self-interest knowing that it’s the way you’ll develop the relationships resulting in all the business you desire. It might be new business directly from that person or it might not be. It might be indirectly from that person…or it might not be.

But even when it doesn’t seem to be (John David Mann calls this “The Law of Left Field” which we’ll discuss in a future article), it can often be traced back to something specific you did for someone; not with an agenda, but just because you’re a person of value who does those kinds of things.

After all, it’s who you are. And, because it’s who you are, it’s what you do. And…you prosper.