According to Dr. Ivan Misner, Founder and Chairman of BNI, Business Network International, “The more effective you are at communicating with and building relationships with members of the opposite sex the more successful you will be in your professional career.”

And, teaching us to be able to do this effectively is the theme of his newest book, Business Networking and Sex: (Not What You Think), coauthored with Hazel M. Walker and Frank De Raffele, Jr.

The book is based on a world-wide survey of more than 12,000 business professionals. And, in this interview, Dr. Misner provides us with some information and wisdom we can immediately embrace and utilize.

BusinessNetworkingAndSex.com

Did anything in this interview come as a surprise to you? And, if so, what difference will this make in the way you network with men and women from this point on?

NOTE: If you are having trouble playing the interview, please make sure Adobe Flash Player is installed in your web browser. If not, then download Flash Player. Or right-click here and select “Save Link As…” to download the audio file to your computer.

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There are many reasons why people will say “no” to buying a product or service they were considering and would like to buy. Often, it is money-related. Always, it is price-cost-value-related.

There is an economic law that is immutable and unchanging. It has always been, is now and always will be. And unless other Universal Laws such as the Law of Gravity change, this one won’t either.

“People will exchange their money for that which they feel is of equal or greater value than the money they are exchanging it for.”

Obviously, the more perceived value as compared to the price (or costs) involved, the greater the chances are that they will make that exchange.

What is meant by “costs”? There could be time costs, money costs, lost opportunity costs (i.e., choosing your product rather than your competitor’s) and many others.

Remember, our prospect has their own reasons for buying based on their needs, wants and desires. So, we must be able to communicate that the value they are receiving is higher than the price and the costs.

What is your method of doing this with regards to your product or service?

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{Note: The Holidays are fast approaching. If you’ve thought of giving The Go-Giver and/or It’s Not About You as gifts, it’s not too late. If you’re interested, our friends at 800.ceoread.com are even offering a Holiday Gift Special on these two books.}

I’m currently reading an outstanding book coauthored by former Procter & Gamble Chairman & CEO, A.G. Lafley and uber-consultant and bestselling author, Ram Charan entitled, The Game-Changer.

Early in the book, Lafley stated the following:

“Our first goal at P&G is to delight our consumers at two ‘moments of truth.’ First, when they buy a product, and second, when they use it.”

Is this true only for multi-billion dollar corporations? Surely not. I’d say it holds just as true for the mid-sized business, the small firm and the solo entrepreneur? And, for those selling products or services.

We must delight those who do business with us; not just once, but twice. To me, the second part would seem to be a function of the product or service itself and how it meets/exceeds their needs (this is often the result of much groundwork and research and beyond the scope of this post)

What about the first part, though. How do you delight your consumers at that first moment of truth…during the buying process?

I can only imagine the wisdom that will be shared via your responses.

I often see people use the terms “Mission Statement” and “Benefit Statement” interchangeably. Yet, not only are they not interchangeable; they are actually opposite. A Mission Statement is typically a declaration of how a company or individual will operate; it’s their premise — the point from which all actions will proceed. It’s a business or personal “Constitution” if you will.

A “Benefit Statement” (discussed within both Endless Referrals and Go-Givers Sell More) is a short, succinct statement that tells a person the…benefit that one would receive by using your product or service.

The Mission Statement is “I-focused.” The Benefit Statement is “other-focused.”

The Houston-based Center for Business Planning provides the following Mission Statement for a fictitious new airline:

Airco, Inc. will be recognized as the most progressive enterprise in the transportation business. We will offer our customers cost effective transportation service within geographical areas and market segments that can benefit from our services and will insure a return on investment and growth rate consistent with current management guidelines.

On their site, they also provide examples of very brief Mission Statements from some very well-known companies:

Mary Kay Cosmetics: To give unlimited opportunity to women.

Merck: To preserve and improve human life.

Walt Disney: To make people happy.

I also love Ritz Carlton’s: We are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen.

Benefit Statements — by their very nature — are always short, succinct and to the point. They should also be used only after someone is ready to hear it; not when you first meet (depending, of course, on the individual, unique situation):

Financial Advisor: We help people create and manage wealth.

Realtor®: I guide people comfortably through the process of buying or selling a home.

Litigating Attorney: Our firm helps people resolve disputes in various forms and avoid costly consequences.

Long-Term Care Insurance: We help people protect their hard-earned assets from one of life’s greatest financial catastrophes.

Again, one clarifies the “mission” from the company’s or individual’s viewpoint while the other clarifies the “benefit” from the prospect’s or potential referral source’s.

Both are important. We must know why we as a company exist, what we stand for and how and why we operate. While we don’t need to communicate all of that to our prospects and customers, we certainly need to be able to communicate the benefits of their doing business with us.

What is your Mission Statement? And, what is your Benefit Statement? Feel free to share. I’ll bet there is a lot we can learn from one another.

In the last post, we discussed why offering incentives (cash or other gifts) in exchange for referrals is not an effective strategy, but instead might very well be counterproductive.

So, the question is, what is a better and more effective alternative for expressing our appreciation to those who refer business to us? And, what will make it more likely that they will be motivated to continue to refer?

As noted by several comments from the last post, many of you already know the answer:

Thank them…afterwards!

How? A variety of ways. It can be anything from a short, handwritten note to a gift certificate for dinner at their favorite restaurant (which you can find out) to many things in-between.

Important: Make sure this gift is something they would find to be of value.

Depending upon what you sell and the type of referrals you receive, you might begin with a simple note, and as they provide more referrals, the size of your thank you gifts begin to increase. Or, not. But, at least the handwritten thank you note. Acknowledgement is so important, both because it’s the right thing to do. And…

Remember: “Behavior that gets rewarded…gets repeated.”

Key: They don’t feel “bought” but they do feel appreciated.

How do you say thank you for referrals? There are so many examples, I’d love to hear some that you utilize.