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  • Bob Burg

“A no-nonsense approach to building your business through relationships.”

~ Jane Applegate, syndicated Los Angeles Times columnist

Want to Influence? Don’t Deny Human Nature

September 17th, 2014 by Bob Burg

Want to Influence? Don’t Deny Human Nature - Bob BurgLast post we saw that to attain a desired outcome you must first see the situation as it is, not as you wish it were.

Not to be confused with a lack of vision, it’s simply understanding that in order to manifest that vision we must acknowledge current truths.

Want to design a device that flies despite physical universal laws such as…gravity? Then, first understand and accept the laws of physics and how they operate. Only then can you work within those laws in order to create its opposite effect.

The same is true when dealing with those often-difficult beings known as…humans. :-)

In other words, the laws of human nature are just as true as the physical laws of nature.

Do you ever hear yourself thinking:

“He doesn’t care about the facts” … “She’s only looks at the price, not the quality” … “His ego is so big” … “She argues even when she knows she’s wrong.”

Or even,  “All he cares about is himself!”

The above are some of the effects of Human Nature. Different for different people, they deal with decision-making, emotion, ego, etc.

There are also some immutable Laws of Human Nature that apply to everyone. What I believe is the biggie of them all was eloquently summed up by Dale Carnegie in his classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People:

“Ultimately, people do things for their reasons; not our reasons.”

Even if those reasons don’t make sense to us! As we’ve discussed in previous posts, people will do what they believe will make them happy, as they understand happiness and within the available options they believe they have.

And that is the overriding Law of Human Nature that only after one understands and accepts can they ever be an effective influencer.

When you embrace that law and work within it in such a way that you help the other person achieve their reason, you’ll find yourself to be one of the most powerful and influential people you know.

Great influencers don’t waste their time wishing people were different or that human nature wasn’t what it is, but rather work within the laws of human nature to benefit everyone involved.

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Do you live in South Florida? If so, you won’t want to miss this powerful, interactive, One-Day Ultimate Influence™ Mastery Intensive on Wednesday, October 1st. In this fun, but very intense day-long session, I’m going to work with just 50 people max so we can keep it personal and interactive.

Lead better, sell more, negotiate powerfully, have stronger relationships with friends, family members, coworkers and associates. Create the environment where people are much more likely to buy into you and your ideas.  If this sounds like something that could make a powerful difference in your life, visit www.Ultimate-Influence.com.

If you have additional questions, we have arranged a brief Q & A call for Thursday, September 18th. You can register for it here: http://bit.ly/1y7UgYv

First, See It The Way It Is. Only Then…

September 11th, 2014 by Bob Burg

First See It The Way It Is - Bob BurgThere are certain natural laws of life. They are not necessarily good or bad. They just are. They are immutable; unchangeable.

With those laws, you have two choices: acknowledge them, or deny/ignore them.

What you cannot do is change them.

They are what they are.

Let’s take the oft-used example of gravity. At least, oft-used by me. :-)

Gravity works everywhere on earth. No exceptions; no excuses. It’s neither good nor bad. It just is. I guess it can be considered good in that it keeps us from floating helplessly into space. It could be considered bad when falling off a seven-story building.

The Law of Gravity cannot be changed. And, you know what? It doesn’t matter how much you’d like it to not be true, how much positive thinking you apply (“I can fly…I can fly…I can fly!”), or even how unfair you think it is that gravity works the way it does.

Human beings cannot fly!

Or…can we?

Actually, we can. Most of us have done so. We’ve traveled great distances at high speeds in a tubular-shaped hunk of metal called an airplane. Lately, we can even check our email and post and converse on Facebook and Twitter while doing so.

However, for the airplane to have been created, its developers first had to understand and acknowledge the Universal Law of Gravity and how it works. Only by tapping into the truth of gravity (and aerodynamics) could they work within its principles and actually use them to create the opposite effect, resulting in flight.

First accept how something IS. Then rather than trying to change it, look for ways to work with it in order to obtain the results you want.

It’s exactly the same with people.

There are certain universal laws of human nature that — while not necessarily convenient — simply are. And, only after we first acknowledge them can we work within them. This, in order to effectively influence others in a way that results in a win for everyone involved.

In the next post, we’ll look at some of these immutable laws of humankind and how to create our own “airplanes” with them. :-)

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Do you live in South Florida? If so, you won’t want to miss this powerful, interactive, One-Day Ultimate Influence Mastery Intensive on Wednesday, October 1st. In this fun, but very intense day-long session, I’m going to work with just 50 people max so we can keep it personal and interactive.

Lead better, sell more, negotiate powerfully, have stronger relationships with friends, family members, coworkers and associates. Create the environment where people are much more likely to buy into you and your ideas.  If this sounds like something that could make a powerful difference in your life, visit www.Ultimate-Influence.com.

The CBA’s of Life And Business

September 2nd, 2014 by Bob Burg

Cost Benefit Analysis - Bob BurgOur main motivation is happiness. Defined by Harry Brown as “the mental feeling of well-being” it is understood differently by each individual. People make decisions based on what they believe has the best chances of bringing them happiness… within the limited choices they have.

What are those limits? Five biggies are time, energy, knowledge, talent and money. Not to mention, some choices that might bring us an immediate sense of happiness are likely to cause its opposite in the future. Other choices might bring us more happiness in the future but less so near-term.

And, I’m not necessarily referring to choices of immediate or long-term pleasure. Yes, if you enjoy sweets, you’ll choose whether or not to eat that piece of cake now or delay your gratification. Which choice will bring you more happiness? Only you can decide that.

But there are lots of other choices we must make throughout the day, each one based on the desire for happiness. This doesn’t mean we’ll always choose correctly. As Harry says, “individuals make mistakes. But every act is aimed at bringing happiness.”

Decisions, Decisions

This is where the “Cost-Benefit Analysis” (CBA in the title) comes into play.

Just as a CEO must constantly make decisions whether a choice will be more beneficial than harmful, we must continually make these analyses with regards to our own happiness.

In his classic, How I Found Freedom in An Unfree World the above-mentioned Mr. Brown taught a brilliant lesson in this regard. For example, let’s say you did something wrong. Not illegal or unethical, of course, but extremely embarrassing. It’s not something you’d ever want anyone to know. It might get found out. It might not. And, you constantly worry about it. If you “come clean” and admit it, you might be disparaged or in some other way have to “take some heat” that will be a source of pain. However, the consequences will be significantly less than if it is discovered by someone else.

On the other hand, it might never be discovered, no one will be hurt, no harm – no foul.

So, what do you do? Obviously, I’m using a very general example. If you really want to make it difficult you can imagine a scenario that leaves for what might be a very difficult choice.

However, it’s a choice you will make. Even deciding to do nothing is still a decision.

The CBA is Unavoidable

The point is that in order to make this decision in a way intended to bring you happiness, as you understand happiness, and within the limitations of available choices, you will have to do a serious cost-benefit analysis.

Hopefully we don’t have too many serious ones too often. But, even the much smaller ones still take that cost-benefit analysis.

Eat out (have to get dressed, drive, sit around and wait, take a chance on food and service being good, pay more money, etc. but not have to put in a lot of personal effort and clean up afterwards) or eat in (easier physically in some ways, save money, don’t have to battle crowd, but must make dinner, clean up, etc.)

Fire Pat (difficult and stressful conversation, feel bad for Pat, lose an already-trained employee but one who is rather lazy with a lousy attitude) or keep Pat (won’t have to have uncomfortable conversation or feel bad for his family, but you’re still stuck with Pat and cannot bring on someone else who might — or might not be — more productive)

Decisions. Big ones, medium ones, small ones. We are constantly doing cost-benefit analyses intended to make us happier, as we understand happiness, and within lots and lots of limited choices.

And, that’s okay. It’s part of life. It keeps us thinking. It keeps us growing. And, if we pay attention and act out of conscious awareness we can consistently make better choices.

And, we’ll be happier.

Do you have any systems or methodologies when it comes to your cost-benefit analyses? Please feel free to share.

Just How Powerful an Influencer Are You?

August 18th, 2014 by Bob Burg

Bob Burg Ultimate Influence AssessmentI define Influence as the ability to move a person(s) to a desired action, usually within the context of a specific goal. Ultimate Influence™ is the ability to get the results you want when dealing with others while helping them feel genuinely good…about themselves, about the situation, and about you.

The person who does this consistently can be a great corporate or team leader, a top-producing sales professional and an overall success in life.

Would you like to know where you currently stand in this regard?

I just created a self-assessment tool, the Ultimate Influence™ Assessment, that you are invited to take. (And, it’s free!)

It includes 14 value-based questions designed to provide you with both influence and persuasion knowledge as well as an excellent idea of your areas of strength and those areas in which you can improve.

Visit http://bit.ly/1pDtj9f.

Have fun!

And, if you’d like, let us know of any thoughts or feedback you have.

Of course, if you find this to be of value, I’d love for you to pass it along to others.

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The Ultimate Influence™ Assessment is based on the Five Key Principles of Ultimate Influence from my book Adversaries into Allies.

Sir Sidney Poitier’s Inspiring Advice

August 14th, 2014 by Bob Burg

Nancy Vogl owns a successful speakers bureau and regularly posts to a Facebook group of speaking professionals to which I belong. One of her recent posts – while intended as a lesson for speakers, – is a lesson for everyone, both in terms of following our own dreams…and in being an encourager for others to follow theirs. Both attributes help make for a successful human being.

Here’s Nancy’s post, edited just slightly in order to make it less “speaker-specific.”

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A LESSON FROM SIR SIDNEY POITIER
Posted on Facebook by Nancy Vogl

Tyler and Sidney PoitierLast month, NSA (National Speakers Association) Youth Leader — and my grandson — Tyler Cole spent two glorious hours on his 18th birthday with the legendary actor, Sidney Poitier. Tyler recently graduated from one of the most prestigious performing arts high schools in the country (LACHSA), and Mr. Poitier invited Tyler to his home to screen one of Tyler’s award-winning student films and to talk about acting and filmmaking.

Early on in the visit, Sidney in his rich, melodic voice said to Tyler:

“So, I understand you want to be an actor…is that right?”, cocking his head to the side, in a classic Sidney Poitier move.

“Yes sir, yes I do,” replied Tyler with great conviction.

Sidney paused and smiled for a brief moment, then looked Tyler square in the eyes, pointing his finger right at his heart, as if he were speaking to his soul, and said, “You already are.”

What Sidney Poitier did for Tyler — on that once-in-a-lifetime day — with that simple phrase was simply this: He reminded Tyler that it was his desire, his passion, his determination, his talent, his love for the craft that gives him the right to call himself an “Actor.” From there, his task is taking deliberate action so the rest of the world knows it too.

And so it goes with anyone wishing to make their mark in the world.

If your heart is burning to share your message, talents or gifts, and you, too, are determined to work at your craft with gusto, you can call yourself whatever you choose. Now, your task is working towards that goal.

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Nancy Vogl owns Nancy Vogl Speakers Bureau. If you are having a conference, Nancy can help you choose the right speaker(s) to fit your needs.