If you subscribe to the Prosperity Blog published by my friend, Randy Gage, you are familiar with his story. He went from a drug-abusing, high school dropout who would serve time in prison for breaking and entering, to a business failure foreclosed upon by the IRS and about as financially down-and-out as a person could be…to a hugely successful entrepreneur who now teaches others how to tap into their abundance.

Randy is part of my MasterMind group and I can tell you he is “the real deal.” He has written that the first thing he did on his journey to success was to make the decision to change. Next was to study abundance. The third was to act on this new information. Obviously, he did it. The results speak for themselves.

So, in the Comments section of one of his recent posts he was asked a question. A simple question. A good question. It was:

“Randy, on your journey from dishwasher to multimillionaire were there ever times when you thought you’d never make it, that you were just fooling yourself? Where your riches and all the good stuff just seemed too far away?”

He replied:

“There were many times I was frustrated and wondering if things would ever work.  But I stayed with it and finally broke through.”

A very simple answer. And, in my opinion, a profound one. So many people who read a book, take a course, or watch a video about becoming abundant and financially successful (or reaching any particular goal they choose to pursue) believe that this climb to success happens quickly and with no doubts. And that if they doubt, that means they are not really believing.

Not true. We are human. We have doubts. And, when things don’t go exactly as we’d like them to, or as fast as we’d like (and do they ever?) we question our decisions.

This is natural. So, how can we overcome it?

I believe the key is to understand in advance that you will have doubts. So, allow yourself to have them. And, do the thing anyway. Rather than letting the doubts stop you, decide to work through them… and do so.

What do you think? Have you found this to be true? And, how do you handle your doubts?

Recently, I saw a “tweet” suggesting that one should __________ rather than ___________. (So as not to identify the author, blanks have been used in place of the actual words.)

When presented with these two choices, most people would instinctively think just the opposite, as did I.

At first, anyway. But, then I thought perhaps the tweeter was correct after all. Or, was he? I kept going back and forth. And, then I realized where I was off the mark.

As usual, the “False Dilemma” (the unnecessary use of the word, “or”) was in play. It wasn’t an “either/or” but rather an “and.” Both were important and both were possible.

What I did was allow myself to be drawn into the frame that is so easy to be drawn into: when given a choice between two correct responses…believing those choices are the only two choices and that they are exclusive.

Suggestion: Regardless of whether the context is a philosophical tweet or a present conversation or situation in which you’d rather not have to make a choice, ask yourself:

“Are these actually the only two choices I have? Really? Could there be another one that the person does not want me to know? Or, perhaps one that simply doesn’t readily present itself?

Whatever the case…to the degree you can think — not outside the box but — “outside the False Dilemma” that you’ve intentionally or unintentionally been given, you can accomplish much greater results.

Question: what are some False Dilemmas you see being promoted either intentionally or unintentionally, and/or what false dilemmas have you overcome? This could prove to be insightful and save us all a lot of time in the future.

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Recently, on my Facebook page I posted the following:

Trying to influence another person without first eliciting trust is as futile as…as…darn, hate when I can’t come up with a clever ending.
So, how would YOU end that sentence?

Responses ranged from funny to profound; many of them both. Here they are…

Dave Ferguson assuming your a leader just because your in a management position?

Tom Cooper cleaning the house when you have small children!

Brant Elsberry trying to cook a great meal without buying groceries.

Beth Bridges ‎… as resisting the Borg?

Tom Cooper Taking on an aircraft carrier while armed only with a squirt gun?

Erika Anderson herding cats.

Deb Krier Trying to push a rope uphill!

Tom Childrey as trying to teach a pig to sing, which wastes your time and truly annoys the pig.

Beth Bridges ‎… making a permanently selfish person become a good networker. (Hmm, that’s still under construction but you get the gist?)

Jon White trying to develop sales or recruits on social media pages or chat rooms by spamming.

Tom Cooper trying to write software without a computer!

Tom Cooper trying to drive without gas….

Chandler Peterson trying to get a teen to clean their room…

Paul Franklin Your appendix.

Michelle Larson Stimpson ‎…trying to listen to “Miracles” without singing along.

Susan Castle Trying to get a five year old to try broccoli!

Robert Michele Gorden ‎… as putting lipstick on a pig! (You still have a pig)

Paul Franklin Spamming.

Kyle Wilson putting business cards on car windshields to sell a seminar.

Kim White As my dear friend Judy used to say, like trying to heat water in chocolate teapot.

Sandra Fry Trying to plow a field with just a plow and no tractor.

Doug N Joyce Morgan ‎…trying to tell a two-year old what to do.

Dennis Talluto pushing rope up a hill!

Michelle Goddard trying to skate on a lake before it freezes?

Max Fleischer fishing while sounding a horn.

Steve Eanes believing you will have a successful storybook marriage after winning the Bachelor or Bachelorette reality show.

Richard Wilson herding cats.

Karen Thornton trying to nail jello to a tree.

Sue Henry expecting the wheat to grow where it hasn’t been planted.

Volney F. Morin Jr like trying to shoot a free throw without the basketball.

Elaine Kibler is a futile as harvesting a crop when you planted no seed!

Will Nicholas asking the woman of your dreams to marry you without first demonstrating your exclusive love for her.

Patrick Mahan trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Patrick Mahan ‎ trying to stuff a marshmallow in a parking meter.

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome! These are so cool. Thank you everyone!

How about you? Anything you’d like to add? Please feel free!

A great friend of mine is an expert in his field. It’s a field that — while growing — is still under-the-radar in terms of mass consciousness. He writes and speaks about it but often feels as though his words are falling on deaf ears.

He also feels as though sometimes he comes on too strong in terms of communicating his message. He writes:

“I just hate sounding like a freakin’ know-it-all sometimes Bob. People must get really tired of me talking about this. Heck…most people don’t even believe it!!!”

I feel for him because I know he has huge belief and feels that — as people come to understand and embrace this — they, and the world as a whole, will be better off for it.

May I explore two points regarding my friend’s concern:

Minor point: our world is such that most don’t easily accept that which is different from their already-established beliefs. If and when these particular ideas are accepted en masse it will happen over time. Remember, it took “sliced bread” (i.e., “the greatest thing since…”) 20 years after it’s invention to catch on. So, enjoy the journey of educating and enlightening whomever you can, but don’t be attached to the outcome. Some will get it. Most won’t.

Major point: my general feeling is that people don’t mind being taught so long as they don’t feel the teacher is telling them that they have the “only real” answer…even when the teacher truly believes they have it.

That’s why, as “unfair” as it seems, the people who succeed aren’t necessarily the ones who have the exceptional idea, product, service, solution, etc., but are able to communicate it in such a way that others desire to receive it.

Esther Hicks writes, “Even in your rightness about a subject, when you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right you are, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it isn’t until you stop pushing that any real allowing of what you want can take place.”

Yes, great influencers don’t push; they pull. And, gently at that.

While tact is mainly a skill it is also an attitude.

While empathy is mainly an attitude it is also a skill.

Fortunately, both can be learned.