"I try to instill confidence in them and support them, but I feel that it backfires when I ask for the same in return. How do I get them to respect my wishes in a tactful way without having to say, 'Hey, I am the boss here.'?"

First of all, Beth, let me assure you this is an extremely common question, and I guarantee that many readers are saying right now - "I could have written that letter." And you know what Beth - I'm one of them.

This has been a challenge of mine for years because I also tend to get very close to my employees, develop friendships with them, and am then perceived simply as their friend, not their boss.

And it's just one of those human principles that, while familiarity might not breed contempt, it can breed a bit of . . . well, over-familiarity in some areas :-)

The response to this question could take up an entire book. Instead, here's a quick suggestion: Write out your specific thoughts and challenges in detail. Then call a staff meeting. In this meeting, read them your letter. They must know and be aware of the situation and how it makes you feel. The key here is to do this with an "I message" as discussed in the article on that topic. http://www.burg.com/imessage.html

In other words, instead of blaming them, you'll simply express how you feel. Then, ask for their advice on how they would suggest handling this. When all is said and done, they'll need to know that, despite your friendship, you are their boss, and they must act accordingly.

Best of success, Beth. I hope your team knows how fortunate they are to have you as a boss (and a friend).

Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without Intimidation and The Success Formula.

He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to http:www.burg.com , then click on the link to his online store. Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.