In The Go-Giver, Pindar told his protege, Joe:
“Appearances can be deceiving. Truth is, they nearly always are.”
Why is this so? Because, as human beings, we tend to make decisions and judgements (both minor AND major) based on very limited information which is controlled by our personal belief system.
Our belief system is a combination of our upbringing, environment, schooling, news media, television, movies, internet, etc. At times, these belief systems serve us well…but all too often, they do not!
A good start is to stay conscious of this; constantly doing a “check” on ourselves, checking our premises and making sure we are making decisions based not just on appearances but on what really is.
In his classic, Science of Getting Rich (first pub. in 1910) Wallace D. Wattles wrote:
“{I}t requires far more effort to {think truth} than it does to think the thoughts which are suggested by appearance. To think according to appearance is easy. To think truth regardless of appearances is laborious and requires the expenditure of more power than any other work a person has to perform.”
So thinking, really thinking…thinking past appearances; past sound bites; past what others tell us to think, is hard work. Hmm, probably why so few actually do it. 🙂
Your thoughts?
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A friend of mine just quoted RW Emerson yesterday…I’d have to look up the exact quote, but the gist of it was…only 2% of (men) think, 5% think they think and the rest would rather do anything BUT think. It’s true for me at times 🙂 When I get into the ‘runaway’ mode and have to consciously remember that I can CHOOSE to think about something else…I’m still working on it!
Bob this is awesome!!!! Judge not by appearance alone is my motto.
Bob,
Very profound and correct. Part of this does fall into the area of control that is outside our control, so to speak. Things happen to people before they have the ability to attach a filter or understanding to what has passed. This leaves people with that funny feeling when they are in the same neighbourhood.
Sometimes we know our biases and can question them. Other times we maybe need to move very slowly passed them otherwise we wake them up. Both ways are change?
Back in my “art school” days, one of the most powerful exercises I performed was in Life Drawing class. The assignment was to draw the model without looking at our sketch pad. I was amazed at the result! The perspective was on point, even the nuances of skin folds were included in not only my sketch but also those of my classmates. The whole point of the exercise was to draw what we actually saw not what we thought the human form looked like.
I share this experience because this concept applies to all aspects of life. Too often we rely on perception rather that actuality. Recognizing this fact is the first step to opening up a whole new world for ourselves — and those around us. We become the one that defies the status quo and pushes the human race forward.
CLB
Christine: Same for me quite often and, I’m sure, for most people at times. Staying conscious and consciously thinking is a continued effort and process. I believe that the key is to stay conscious of the understanding that practically everything we think is based on our subconscious belief systems and that our thinking (and many decisions) take place at an unconscious level. Forming the habit of awareness of this is – in my opinion – the first step on the road to more effective thinking. Thank you for sharing with us!
Orrin: Thank you. And, thank you for the tremendous work you continue to do with the kids. What an amazing difference you’ve made and continue to make! {www.besomeone.org}
Ross: Seems to me that the more we can wake up our biases, the better we are able to think correctly. However, I may have misunderstood what you meant by that sentence (based on my own biases and belief systems) LOL ;-). Thank you for sharing with us!
Good morning Bob,
Great post, very thought-provoking, and I totally agree (no surprise there, right 😉 with you.
Our beliefs shape the way we view the world and form our reality. And, our reality is truly that: “ours”. It is fascinating to see its impact; fascinating in the sense that, we are amazing as we can change any of our beliefs in an instant, and it all starts with that awareness. As you say, some of our beliefs serve us, others don’t; they can either be empowering ones, or limiting ones. It is about knowing AND acting up on this by regularly revisiting our beliefs; by doing this, we impact our reality and our appearances (decisions and judgements).
And, yes, as you say, it is hard work, and I would also add that it is scary; I’ve found that people are afraid of looking inwards. I do this thing on stage, where I get people excited to have discovered something they may not like about themselves – and often, it will be a belief, and the excitement comes from the fact that you can only tackle something you are aware of, and since we are aware of about 5%, our main duty (that’s how convinced I am) is to be aware (if mindset had an A, it would be for awareness!), so that we can then tackle whatever it is we have found out about ourselves. The more we know about ourselves, the stronger we are.
Thanks Bob!
Frederique
Oh Science of Getting Rich is an incredible book though I wasn’t aware that it was first published in 1910. Wow!
Speaking of appearances, it is not just the appearances that are deceiving, Bob. Just taking a little deep into the subject, it is our perspective from which we see something or somebody. We all see the same thing differently and therefore, same thing appears differently to all of us and that, is a big differentiator.
The best way I think to not be deceived by how something appears to me is – to look from objective point of view, to think in principle and then make an opinion or take an action. Don’t you think?
Christine: What a terrific example and excellent lesson you drew from that. Great wisdom. Thank you for sharing that with us. Painted a great picture (Ack! – “drew” and “painted a great picture” – I was not trying to be clever. And, I’m sure I wasn’t) 😉 Truly, I thought what you said was fantastic!
Frederique: I loved everything you wrote. And, yes…”scary” absolutely does come into play. After all, admitting that which we “absolutely know for sure” might possibly not actually be true?? “Scary!” Thank you for sharing.
Kumar: Indeed, our perspective (which I believe is formed by our beliefs) is what ultimately deceives us. And, your advice is right one. Consciously do our best to look at it objectively. Even that takes work, but that’s why those who do it create a context for their success. Thank you for sharing with us!
Bob,
This is one of the great challenges and opportunities in our world today. The challenge is even more formidable today. We are exposing ourselves to information that is more and more segmented. Most limit themselves to outlets that further support rather than those that question their perspectives.
That being said, it is an amazing opportunity for those who really want to discover the truth, rather than to prove they are “right”. Fantastic synergies can be created when multiple perspectives are used and when we honestly look for the value in opposing points of view.
So, so, SO true! Thinking “truth” (meaning what we truly want) when in the midst of observing what we don’t want IS laborious. Wattles says “It is the hardest work in the world.” Think about that~ the hardest work in the world! Harder than digging a ditch or running a marathon. It is “simple”, yet unfortunately not “easy”. Thanks for reminding me of this today, Bob.
John: Great point and an excellent perspective; one that leads to actually seeing things accurately far more often than maintaining the status quo of limited thinking. Terrific advice – Thank you for sharing with us!
Linda: Indeed, “simple but not easy.” Very, very far from easy. Much of your teaching focuses in this particular area and I appreciate you sharing with us!
Pithy and straight to the point like a true pro Bob! (compared to my posts which are equivalent to a novella…grins)
Great post. You wrote:
‘So thinking, really thinking…thinking past appearances; past sound bites; past what others tell us to think, is hard work. Hmm, probably why so few actually do it.’
So true and very hard work! Worth it in the long run. Yet it can be done. It also gets easier with practice for those on the fly, in the moment, triggers that pop up. I have found some of those DEEPLY ingrained false beliefs/negative programming aren’t ‘killed’ in one shot. They can rear their ugly head in new situations even if we’ve already done some work to become more conscious, etc.
Thanks again for sharing Bob.
Samantha: My posts began as movella’s as soon. As I wrote more and more, I got better and better (or, “better-er and better-er”) 😉 at editing, editing and editing some more. It’s still a work in process for me though. And, just like writing, as you said…thinking past the appearances does indeed get easier with practice. And, yes, that old programming can indeed pop up again at any time. Again, always a work in progress. Thank you for sharing with us! 🙂
WOW – This is SO true!!!! GREAT ability to see things as they really are – and then dare trust what you observed, especially when what you observed is sick, twisted or unplesant. We all want to think the best or what “looks best”. I call this ability “personal integrity” and define it like this: “The ability to see or observe things as they are and be willing to stand by what you observed and have the courage to act in acordence with your observation” Thank’s for a FANTASTIC topic and article Bob 🙂
Sorry for spelling errors – it’s a language thing, and I do not sit with my dictionary when I comment – hope it’s not too disturbing for the understanding!
Lene: Thank you. I love what you said. I would perhaps suggest that we also question what we are observing (at least, when we first observe it, just to make sure we’re not basing it on false beliefs) and leave the option open to see it in a different light if it seems as though our initial observation could possibly be flawed.
Regarding for your spelling, it’s fine, and to me it speaks volumes about you in a very positive way that you have learned another language and are willing to express your thoughts in that language even if you don’t feel entirely comfortable with it. As always, thank you for sharing with us and being part of the conversation!
SOOO true Bob! AND it’s there the BIG work is. How many filters are you observing through is a big question!!! How deeply are you emerged in your own subconcious mind, to be able to longer than your OWN nosetip? And that is why it is extremely important to be present in the NOW and not stuck in the past! And another thing – base ones observations not only from what comes out of the mouth, but also see if what comes out the mouth is in accordence with actions. The deeper you are submerged in the subconsious – the less trustworthy it is what you are capabel of observing correctly! And observation what actually IS – is different from oppinions and previous experiences – AND love what you said about being open to see things in a different light. I believe that the ability to take on other viewpoints IS very essential to freedom and creativity and being able to change. WOOHOOO this is a FANTASTIC topic – THANK*S Bob.
Huge hugs.
Wow – powerful, Lene!!
Hi Bob,
It’s easy for me to get into a conversation when the topic revolves around the beliefs (crippling or empowering) that a person holds about their potential, value, and worth.
Unfortunately, once someone has been conditioned with beliefs and mental models that work against them, oftentimes they then view them, not as beliefs that can be challenged, but as facts that must be accepted.
Ron McIntosh in his book “The Greatest Secret” and Dr. Srikumar Rao, “Are you ready to Succeed” both do a wonderful job in outlining this idea. We’ve borrowed from both of their work and have implemented a powerful four-step process for the people we help.
Joel: Regarding your second paragraph, yes, we see this all too often. Very sad! And, thank you for mentioning those two books as resources. And, looking forward to your new book coming out soon. Thanks for sharing with us! Was great seeing you and Pei recently!
Bob,
Yes, agreed, bias can be misread. Swap that for habitual reaction 🙂 Sometimes instinct kicks in and we don’t know the cause, just the feeling. We get a trigger and then get a feeling and maybe react on that feeling. That is the hard piece to work out and reframe? This is nothing sinister but maybe why we get a flashback when we smell coffee or bread or something. There is no picture there just a feeling.
I like to think of this as the obstacle in the road. Some people say you can go round it, through it or over it. What if you don’t get what it is, you just feel or sense it? Maybe a good time just to know “something” is there?
Bob,
Thanks, this is great!! Strongly agree! I think that individuals deal with this both consciously and subconsciously. That is why it’s important to constantly remind ourselves what is important; That is the people that are around us.
Zachary: Thank you for your kind comment, and for sharing your thoughts with us. Appreciated!
Hi Bob,
This is a great post and one that I can relate to very well. I completely agree that it requires hard work to see past appearances.
I have found that taking a third party perspective (this is the work part) can often help. You want to get a fresh set of eyes whether it is business or personal. On the business side, you can ask the question “How would someone from an unrelated industry view/interpret this?” Training yourself to take an objective view (outside of your own belief system) takes persistence, but it does pay off in terms of success.
I am far from a master at this, but I do have success from time to time. : )
Thank you for the thought provoking post!
Stephen: Thank you for your kind words about the post, and for the great idea; what a terrific tool for training oneself to become more proficient at seeing past appearances and not falling victim to our own Belief Systems. Thank you – I know that advice will help a lot!