Good morning. 21 days ago we brought up the concept of tact and discussed how very important it is in terms of success when dealing with people. And, since most of life involves dealing with people…well, it seems like a skill that would behoove each of us to master.

We ended with a challenge that we would meet back here in three weeks- after focusing on practicing tactfulness and being more tactful – and see how we did?

10 days after that post, we looked at a few back articles just to provide some food for thought.

And, now…it’s 21 days later?

Any thoughts, comments or results you’d like to share?

Webster’s defines trust as: The assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

We often – in this blog – discuss trust, and how important it is in the selling process. Stephen M.R. Covey opined in his magnificent book, The Speed of Trust, and congruent with the Websternian* definition, that trust involves two main areas; character and competence. And, to buy from someone trying to sell you something of any type of substantial nature or price, you most likely will need to trust them both aspects.

Would you agree?

I mean, if you believe they have good character but are lacking in competence in terms of product design, quality, service or anything else you hold to be of value, you probably won’t purchase from them. At least, that would be my guess. On the other hand, if they are competent in the aforementioned areas but you believe them to lack in the character department, you’re more than likely also not going to choose to buy.

How does all of this “trust” we’re talking about actually play out in the success of one’s business? One very big part concerns customer loyalty, which greatly affects growth.

In his article entitled, “What The Heck Is A ‘Chief Honesty Officer?”, Darryl Rosen, former President of Sam’s Wines & Spirits, a family-owned business he took from small store to a multi-unit retailer with nearly $70 million in sales, and author of Surviving the Middle Miles 26.2 Ways to Cross the Finish Line with Your Customers quotes Fred Reichheld, author of The Ultimate Question:

“Without trust, there can be no loyalty, and without loyalty, there can be no growth. The simple truth is that trust means confidence. When your customers trust you, it means that they have confidence in you. It means that when you make claims during the selling process, they are inclined to believe you and that, my friends, is what it is all about.”

How true that is! As Darryl concludes his article, “And  we don’t need a Chief Honesty Officer to tell us that.”

I also love what my friend, Gill Wagner, Founder of the organization, Honest Selling says, “Sell with manipulation and the world is your battlefield. Sell with honesty and the world is your playground.”

It certainly builds trust, which results in loyalty, which results in company growth.

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*That’s right; I said Websternian. And, no, I don’t believe it’s an actual word.

Blog posts on books I love are the most difficult for me to write.

Why? Because often, books like the one I’m suggesting today, despite being fun and easy to read, have lessons that run so deep, I’m concerned I won’t be able to communicate the messages sufficiently and/or appealingly enough that you’ll be moved to read them.

Such is the case with Aspire: Discovering Your Purpose Through The POWER OF WORDS.

In this extremely powerful work, former Franklin Quest partner and now highly sought-after business consultant, speaker and Coach, Kevin Hall, invites us along on his personal and exciting journey to discover how words (yes, words!) can help us clarify and discover our purpose as well as help us to do the same for others.

With the help of a kind octogenarian, Dr. Arthur Watkins, a man who’d invested his life in the study of words, Kevin focuses on dissecting 11 different powerful words, both English and from other cultures. The very first one, learned from Mr. Pravin Cherkoori, a wise and humble Indian shopkeeper in Vienna, Austria, is what the author refers to as The Secret Word. He also refers to it as as “one of the most meaningful gifts of my life.”

The featured words are: Genshai, Pathfinder, Namaste, Passion, Sapere Vedere, Humility, Inspire, Empathy, Coach, Ollin, and Integrity. Yes, we learn their roots and their origins of usage, and how they team with other words to arrive at their current meanings and incarnations. By the way, if you’re like I am, you’ll find this to be fascinating in and of itself.

What’s special about this, however, is how the words are used to tie into the real-life characters we come to know and root for; some of whom overcame dramatic odds to succeed and find their purpose.

I could go on and on with how emotionally touched I was throughout the book. Instead, if I may, I’d like to quote from the Foreword by Dr. Stephen Covey:

“The more you understand words and the layers within them, the more it helps you understand your path and purpose…Words are the direction signs that show the way to {following your} bliss. Words, in concert with the actions they inspire, help you become a better leader, a better spouse, a better parent, a better salesperson, a better athlete…The power in words generates wealth, health, productivity, discipline, spirituality, and limitless other desirable human traits.”

Dr. Covey’s Foreword ends a page later with:

“Whatever your goal, your quest, your passion, I am confident Aspire will unlock for you a universal force that will light the way to inspiration and personal growth. I suggest you keep a pen or pencil close by as you read this profound work over and over again. I know I will.”

All I can say in response to the above paragraph is, “it did, I did, and I will.”

Well, one more thing: I hope you’ll do the same.

Yes, people do things (good or bad, helpful or unhelpful, productive or counterproductive, charitable or uncharitable) for their own reasons, not ours. And, knowing this, we have two choices; complain that life shouldn’t be that way, or embrace the facts and utilize this principle for the benefit of all concerned.

If your request is not one with which the other person need comply, you must give them a personal benefit for taking action! As we learned from Dale Carnegie in Part One, find their reason, and present your request with that in mind.

Are you planning to ask your boss for a raise?  Realize that the fact you are behind on your house payment and really need the money will not be enough of a motivator for her to comply. You’re much better served explaining that, based on past performance, you could help her come in significantly under budget on the next project.  That, of course, would make her look great to her superiors when she is seeking her raise (In other words, it’s her reason).

Important point: Everyone’s “reason” is not necessarily money. Feeling good about oneself is often the most powerful motivator of all!  Difficult people, in particular, tend to have a poor self-image. So take a genuine, personal interest in them. Show more respect than they might typically receive. Find out their “why.” What will press their emotional hot button and cause them to take the action you want them to take? What’s in it for them?

If you nail that answer, the chances are they — or anyone else — will bend over backwards to make you happy.

That’s win/win persuasion, or Winning Without Intimidation.