Continuing with our look at the decision-making process which, as we’ve seen, is emotion-based and logic-rationalized, how does this play out in the process of selling?

After reading one of the recent posts, my great friend, Jennifer Kushell, co-author (with Scott Kaufman) of the NY Times Bestselling, Secrets of the Young & Successful and Co-founder of Young & Successful, wrote:

“Interesting Bob! Very true too. Are emotional decisions backed with logic such a bad thing though? Especially in sales? I’d imagine that connecting with the audience/user/client would be good, right?”

Thank you, Jennifer. You’re correct. Not necessarily a bad thing. It is simply a fact of life; not good or bad; just is. The key is whether we are aware of this “while in the process” of making an emotional decision (I was coming at this from the viewpoint of “we the buyer – not the seller”). To the degree that we are consciously aware, that’s the degree to which we can know we are acting out of strength; not weakness.

And, Jennifer brings up an excellent point. In sales, we must absolutely be aware that while facts tell, emotion sells. There’s an old saying that “facts tell and stories sell” but – as John David Mann suggests, “While that saying is easy to remember because it rhymes, it’s not entirely true. Stories don’t necessarily sell. What they do is connect.”

And, they connect with your prospect on an “emotional level.”

While providing your prospect with the logical facts helps them to have a better understanding of your product or service and how it might be able to help them, it most likely will not connect with them on an emotional level. And, since people buy on emotion, there’s a good chance that the sale will not be made and your prospect will not enjoy the benefits that he or she could have, had they made the purchase.

The key is for you to discover, through authentically asking the right questions and doing your diligence, if the purchase of your product or service is indeed in their best interest. If so, then it is indeed up to you to set the context for the sale.

If they know, like and trust you (i.e. they have an emotional connection with you) and are emotionally connected with the benefits of your product or service, the odds of the sale taking place are extremely good.

And, as long as we approach this ethically and with the best interest of the buyer in mind, we are totally on the right track.

Your thoughts?

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Over the past two articles we’ve been discussing that, as human beings, we tend to make decisions (even – and perhaps, especially – major ones) emotionally. We then support those emotional decisions with logic or rationalization. In the previous article, I told a story on myself that – while it happened a long time ago – followed the same basic principles of decision these things most likely always have and always will follow.

Much of the feedback and questions came to me via email and Facebook. Today, I’d like to discuss one letter I received because I believe the very thought brings up an important question.

Jean asked:

“Does that mean I shouldn’t have bought my new car? LOL! Just kidding! If you are going to drive you might as well enjoy it! … or is that more of… oh well!”

While I think Jean meant that at least somewhat “tongue-in-cheek” I’m bringing it up here because several people wrote with a variation of that question and were completely serious.

My response:

Not at all, Jean. As mentioned in the article, the fact that we buy emotionally isn’t necessarily good or bad; it just is. As long as we’re on top of it, recognize it, and are ultimately in control of our emotions, it’s fine. If you can afford it and you want it, if it will bring you joy, and its purchase won’t infringe upon the rights of anyone else, why shouldn’t you have it?

My friend, Randy Gage, who publishes the Success & Prosperity Blog, covered something similar in two of his recent posts, discussing the fact that there is a difference between spending money you don’t have in a way that will be counter-productive to your financial health and well-being…and enjoying the fruits of your labor, treating yourself as you should be treated and enjoying your life to the fullest.

That was very much a paraphrase of Randy’s excellent advice. The point, though, is that the fact that your decision to do or not to do something was based on emotion is not – in and of itself – a negative thing. Nor is it a positive thing. It just is what it is; a natural part of the human decision-making process.

I’m more concerned about the emotional decisions we make that we don’t recognize and/or acknowledge are emotional and happen to not be in our best interests. As adult individuals we are responsible for our decisions and the positive or negative results they bring. Thus, it is imperative that, while we act out of emotion, we don’t use that as an excuse for doing something that might feel good now and come back to haunt us later. And, saying that “it seemed logical at the time” – while it might allow us to feel like a victim, it sure won’t allow us to come away feeling like a winner.

In the next article, we’ll continue along this line and look at it from a seller’s perspective.

Now, I’ll take that Banana Split please…with a Diet Coke on the side.

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In the previous article we discussed that – as human beings – we generally make decisions based on emotion and back up our emotional decisions with logic. In other words, we rationalize, or tell ourselves… “rational lies.”

When we ended I said that I’d share one of mine. While this happened close to 25 years ago, I’m quite certain I’ve practiced the same basic process all-too-many times over the years; most of which I’m sure I was not even consciously aware of. And, even if I was…I consciously ignored it when it suited me to.

Back in my “salad days”—so called mainly because that’s about all I could afford to eat – I faced a rather uncomfortable situation pretty much every day at about 5:00 p.m.  I was really hungry!  The challenge was I didn’t have much money so I always ate what cost the least.  Not surprisingly, I never felt quite satisfied after the meal.

One day, on my way home from work, I passed a steak­house. Um!  Um!  The very thought of that succulent, juicy steak, that baked potato loaded with butter and sour cream, the soft, warm, freshly baked bread. (This was years ago before we became as concerned as we are today with fatty food intake, but you know what; I was so hun­gry, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway!)

I stopped in front of that steakhouse but not to actu­ally go in and eat—I knew I couldn’t afford that.  I knew if I did I would have hardly any money left until the next payday and that was way far away.  But I could at least look at the place from the outside, couldn’t I?  I could just stand there and smell it. No charge just for that, right? That was…

RATIONAL LIE #1.

Then I thought, why not go in and just look at a menu?  You know, just see what they’ve got. Hey, one day, I’ll actu­ally be able to afford this kind of food and, gosh darn it; I need to be able to picture it. That will give me real incen­tive to work even harder. Powerful motivation, right? That was…

RATIONAL LIE #2.

Once inside, I thought, and this was kind of true; if I were to eat a hearty meal such as this it would give me the strength to work even harder the next day. All that pro­tein in the meat would be good for me. After all, I didn’t want to get too thin. And the potato – why, the skin alone has vitamins everyone needs. And, and…well, that was…

RATIONAL LIE #3.

Those were all rational lies, weren’t they? That was the logic I used to back my emotional decision, which was to tear into that steak. (By the way, it was the best‑tasting steak I ever ate!)

Have you ever done something like that…or am I the only one?

As human beings, we make most of our major decisions based on emotion. Yep, you do it; I do it, and so does pretty much everyone else. And, we’re so emotional about it; we don’t even realize it while in the midst of doing it.

But, let’s take this a step further. We then back up our emotional decision with a logical reason or self-explanation for doing what we just did.

This is known as rationalizing. It’s making our emotional decision, “rational” . . .  at least to ourselves.

It’s been often said that if we break up the word “rationalize” it becomes ‘rational lies’” which are exactly what we tell ourselves.

Let’s look at a few of these type of decisions you and I may or may not have made. Think back to the last house or car you bought (even the banana split… “easy on the whipped cream” since you’re on a diet), your wristwatch if it costs you anything over $30, the number of children you decided to have, and the good or bad feelings you had based on your last difficult conversation. How about leaving a secure job and using your savings or mortgaging your home in order to start your own business where the risk was greater and the hours longer.

Was any of that based on logic? Or was it mainly emotion? My guess is that it was based on emotion, and backed up with logic.

Note: this is not necessarily a negative thing; it’s simply a Principle of Human Action. What would be negative is a lack of awareness of such. So long as we are aware of the Principle and on top of it, it’s fine, and we can monitor and adjust our actions and decisions accordingly.

Practice exercise: watch every decision of substance you make over the next few days.  You’ll most likely find that everything will be based on emo­tion. It will have something to do with your desire for pleasure – or your avoidance of pain. You and I will both do this, and we’ll back up these emotional decisions with our “make‑sense” logic, or, rational lies.

Do you find this true in your life? Care to share some personal examples? In the next article, I’ll tell a story on myself. Feel free to beat me to the punch and tell us one of yours.

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One of the most gratifying aspects of Extreme Business Makeovers 2009 was the powerful and profitable connections made between attendees. The entire weekend had a Go-Giver theme with everyone focused on providing value to others rather than on what they themselves could get from the connections they made. Not surprisingly, since that event, a lot of business has been done – and continues to be done – amongst participants with the biggest givers receiving the most.

The following is one example, and I share it with you simply because it is a terrific example of how, when two people focus on helping the other, an expanded pie is created for both.

Barbara Abramson  – along with her husband Ira – owns Sanford Carpet,  based in Sanford, Florida. At the event, she briefly met Joe and Renee Vizi, owners of Eco-Scrub, a carpet cleaning company located near Atlanta.

Barbara and Joe connected on Facebook and Twitter and began conversing about their businesses.

Joe was interested in approaching carpet stores in his area in order to introduce himself as a reliable carpet cleaner and asked for Barbara’s thoughts on how best to achieve this.

Barbara’s recommendation to Joe was to think in terms of how he could benefit the customers of the carpet store by offering packages to the owner that he in turn could offer to his customers.  The two discussed several different options, including securing a recommendation from the owner that would give him a foot in the door with the customers. Another idea was pre-selling to the carpet store cleaning packages for new customers and creating a referral program that would send Joe’s existing customers. whose carpet was beyond cleaning and needed replacement. to the carpet store.

Barbara also stressed to Joe that, as a carpet store owner, she would also be interested in how professionally a carpet cleaner represented himself, how he dressed on jobs, and how clean and up-to-date his truck and truck mount system was.  These were all part of the value Joe had to offer to both the carpet store and their customers.

Joe (and, if you knew Joe like I’ve come to know Joe, this wouldn’t surprise you one bit) has taken the idea of partnering in his community to new heights, creating four other partnerships with various organizations that have resulted in tremendous benefit for the organizations and their customers. This included  cleaning a room of carpet for members of his church for a food donation, which has enabled the church to help many more people.  Most people opted to have additional rooms cleaned so Joe ended up receiving additional business, as well.

Joe has helped Barbara with valuable cleaning tips she can offer to her customers through her blog. He’s has also advised her on how she can best partner with businesses in her community to help position her company similarly. For example, she has already begun conversations with real estate companies that have foreclosures and bank-owned properties. They are now looking at ways to work together to get many houses that are not move-in ready due to neglect and damage, presentable and ready to be shown.  And, they are in conversations with other trades to join them.

What’s interesting is, not just the fact that Joe has been able to brainstorm and help her as she has helped him, but – as we’ve seen so many times (Arlin Sorensen’s story on pages 25-26 in Go-Givers Sell More being a prime example) – just the action of helping someone in their business tends to inspire ideas for one’s own.

All-in-all, this is networking at its finest; two business people discussing how to increase value for customers and, at the same time, help each other, and themselves, obtain greater success.

Please share with us some ways you have worked with others in a similar way. We’d love to hear about it.

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