I remember listening to a very famous speaker at a conference who, partway through his presentation, looked out at his audience and authoritatively declared,
“If it is to be, It Is up to me.”
The audience applauded at that statement highlighting the importance of personal responsibility.
During the very next session, an equally famous speaker (it was a cool convention) :-), partway through his presentation, and with an air of benevolence, said,
“Nobody does it alone.”
The audience applauded at that statement highlighting the importance of teamwork and outreach.
But afterwards, in the halls and in the hotel restaurant, there was discussion about those two “opposing” thoughts.
However, they are not opposing at all, are they? In fact, they are one of those magnificent paradoxes of life: when two seemingly divergent statements or philosophies, in actuality fit together beautifully, like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
It is up to me; it’s up to you; up to him; up to her to take personal responsibility. And part of that includes taking appropriate action to connect with others in such a way that we develop relationships beneficial to all concerned.
Do you agree? And, how else do you see this playing out? We’ll take a further look in Part Two.
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Yes, I fully agree. It is a state of “mutual interdependence”, and we choose it. I can do a great deal all on my own, but my endeavors are so much greater when I overlap my “circle” with the “circles” of others and their giftedness. This creates synergy! These are central concepts of success. Thank you so much for stating them so clearly and succinctly!
Let me throw in a third cliché – “we are never given more than we can handle.” That one has powered me through a lot in my life. But “powering through” takes a toll as well. I finally amended that in my own mind to say “we are never given more than we can handle, just sometimes more than we can handle alone.” In fact, that is displayed as a note on my computer’s desktop.
But I do not see a true paradox here. WE are accountable for our actions. That means it is up to us to take initiative, we are in the driver’s seat and that means ultimately that vehicle only goes forward when WE put it in gear and it only goes where WE steer it to go. But that doesn’t mean we make the journey alone. And it is true, no one ever does. Another cliche that happens to be true – “no man is an island” – we do not go through our lives in isolation. It is also up to us to surround ourselves with people who will support us in reaching our chosen destination. It is up to us to communicate clearly and openly, first with ourselves and then with others about where we want to go and what we need to get there. And it is up to us to support others in their journeys as well. That is part of the “if it is to be” – that doesn’t just refer to OUR achievements but to the outcomes of the community, the society, the world!
It is up to me, and up to you, and up to everyone else. We begin it, we commit to it, and we invite others to join us because “no one does it alone.”
Yes a big part of successful people’s drive for success, is knowing the right mentors, role models and collaborators to partner with in their journey.
-RG
I agree, it is up to me to develop the relationships/partnerships/masterminds in order to grow exponentially.
Thanks for Sharing Bob!
Steve
I think your interpretation of this “paradox” is spot-on, Bob. We must take responsibility for every action (or inaction) we take, but to truly grow, stretch, and create win-win opportunities, we must join hands and hearts with others. We are responsible for identifying and reaching out to those people with whom we wish to partner and collaborate. Thanks for pointing out and teasing through the seeming contradiction and for initiating the conversation. All the best to you, Bob!
~ Kendra
I agree, Bob! The part that’s up to me is thinking the right thoughts, having the right mindset, aligning my words and my actions with my intentions, and going for it will all of my heart and soul.
And part of taking action is finding, as Randy said above, “the right mentors, role models, and collaborators to partner with.”
Not only do these folks add a different perspective, but they make the journey more fun!
In the final analysis, to be “successful”, you must take some action, you must create something new that is valuable to others. The reality is that action is not enough. You must also have partners, friends, acquaintances, even strangers, that help you along the way.
Take action and get along with people is my motto. As Zig so often said, If you help enough others people get what they want, you will get everything that you want.”
Thank you, everyone, for your terrific feedback, thoughts and wisdom. No way I couldn’t have done this alone. 🙂
Swedenborg covers this. He says we are to do good. We are to do good as if from ourselves while realizing that any good we do actually comes from the LORD. If we take credit for doing the good ourselves, we have defeated the purpose of doing good. So therefore, if we are to do it, it is up to us, but we have to realize that the Lord gives us the power and ability and desire to accomplish it.
I just love it when one of your posts jump out at me and seems to magically FIT with something I’ve either already pondered over, or currently chewing the cud over! 🙂
For this particular paradox, I have spent some time mulling over in the past. I came to this conclusion. (Thoughts subject to change without notice as new info and life experiences unfold!)
Dependence —————Interdependence ————–Independence
Dependence and independence are polar extremes. We enter the world entirely dependent on those around us. It ‘seems’ that the ultimate goal is to grow up and be ‘independent’. However, as adults we still find that we are not completely independent as we may have imagined we would be (i.e. cog in a wheel at a job, etc) and may even find we are still dependent on specific things/circumstances/people in life. Either extreme CAN be dysfunctional.
I naturally began to figure out that interdependence IS the creative tension and ‘magical’ relationship between the two extremes.
/nutshell version. 🙂
I loved reading this post and reading what everyone took away from it. What I took away began to shift as I read each reply. What it leaves me with is that we all are given gifts in our lives. Some use their gifts better than others, and those who use their gifts wisely align themselves with those who use their gifts wisely. They are great alone, but together they are Dynamic!
I did a video with a business colleague at the beginning of the year. In that video we talked about our individual tools. I loved when my colleague summed up the video by saying,” We both have great tools to work with, but when we put our tools together –we can build something GRAND!
– Michelle Colon-Johnson