A little before I was about to present at a recent event in Minneapolis I was hanging out with a few people who were manning (or, is that, “personing?”) the Resource Tables for the various speakers. One was a table displaying Roxanne Emmerich’s book, Thank G-d It’s Monday.* The book is about how to make the workplace both a lot more fun and a lot more profitable. I read it. It’s terrific.

So, a woman who was not an attendee but attending another event within the same convention center walked by and, seeing some books on the table, stopped by. Nice enough person. The she saw the book’s title.

“Thank G-d It’s Monday?” she asked, with a tone of extreme disbelief.

“Yes” answered the person working the table, with a kind, genuine smile.

The woman, with a slight, disbelieving shake of her head, simply turned and walked away. No “good bye”, didn’t say “thank you” and didn’t any longer even acknowledge those at the tables. She simply walked away as though the event going on in the adjoining room must be some kind of rah-rah cult festivity. {quick note: realize that is simply my interpretation; I can’t read another person’s mind.}

One of the people from another Resource Table, turning to the person handling Roxanne’s table said, “Wow, does she need that book. You should have just given it to her for free.”

I opined, “She’d probably never read it.”**

“But, aren’t those the ones” asked the young man at another table, “who need it the most?”

Great question. And I believe that’s true.

Isn’t it interesting though, that indeed – about 99 percent of the time – the people who need something the most will never try it, use it, read, it, etc.

Yet, the 1 percent who do often make changes in their lives so significant, profound and dramatic it’s nearly beyond description.

For the 99 percent, it typically comes down to belief systems. There are certain things so far outside one’s “model of the world and how it works” that they will simply not be open to that suggestion.

So, what do you think it is about that other one percent that makes the difference; that causes them/allows them to be open to ideas with which they are currently not familiar?  

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*Note: The title of the book has the vowel intact. I used a hyphen in the word, “G-d” in keeping with Jewish tradition of never spelling out the Name of G-d out of respect and deference.

**Note: Please don’t confuse my statement, “She’d probably never read it” with my saying that it’s not good to offer. Within the proper context, it certainly is. Had the visitor stayed around, asked questions, and shown any openess I would most likely have bought her Roxanne’s book and given her a copy of The G0-Giver, as well. She did not make herself open.

Recently, I posted on twitter and on my Facebook page a quote from spiritual teacher, author and philosopher, Vernon Howard (1918-1992). I receive his quotes daily from the New Life Foundation, which he founded in 1979. It said:

“To see oneself as either good or bad is to not yet know oneself,  for real self-knowing is above these opposite labels.”

 I received, in response, numerous comments and interpretations. Two of them were:

From Anja (quoting 13^th Century mystic/poet Rumi): “Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. 

Judy wrote (quoting Irish author/therapist/speaker Owen Fitzpatrick):There is a fundamental truth that you are going to be with only one person your entire life. Like it or not, that person is going to be with you 24-7 in every single moment you exist. That person is going to determine how successful or effective you become. The relationship you create with that person is extremely important. That person is yourself.”

Both of those interpretations provided much to think about (which, as a reader of Vernon Howard, I believe is exactly what he wants). Rumi’s quote seems to tell us that it’s not even a matter of in-between, but outside of the “good/bad” dichotomy (either/or) altogether.

Fitzpatrick’s quote, while on one hand, discussing personal responsibility, also seems to say that while we need to be aware of our “good” and “bad” aspects, it’s certainly best not to define ourselves that way in the entirety.

And, I’m sure there’s much more to Howard’s quote. Your thoughts?

Okay, no question about it; I’m a fan of Libby Gill. I first met her when she called to interview me a year and a half ago soon after The Go-Giver was published. We had a great time during the interview and became fast friends.

The former Hollywood entertainment executive (most notably, the “branding brain” behind the Dr. Phil show) had given up the fame, the money, the glory and the stress (actually turning down a huge job in corporate communications working for CEO and entertainment legend, Barry Diller himself to pursue her dream of becoming a personal branding coach.

Successes aside, she was feeling stuck. And, as she has done through the many challenges throughout her life (detailed in a previous book– this is her third), she found a way to get unstuck and pursue her dream; a dream that since has become hugely successful and a lot of fun for her.

Fortunately, in her newest book, You Unstuck she shares with us a formula for working past and getting unstuck in whatever area of our life – health, wealth, relationships, career, etc – we may be struggling.

And, in typical Libby Gill fashion, she does through a combination of hard-hitting, how-to, step-by-step advice and relatable stories that provide the reader with hope and a plan. 

My opinion is that this is her best book yet and will be an immense bestseller. Yep…it’s that good. Purchase You Unstuck and…get to your next level of success.

*Disclaimer: Today is the day that Libby is doing an Internet-promotion where many of us in her network of friends and associates are emailing our lists and bonuses are being offered when purchasing her book on amazon.com. Not only are we actively participating, we didn’t need to be asked; we let her know that we wanted to participate and for her to let us know as soon as she had the date. We did this through our other lists.

However, please know that this blog post is not being published because of the promotion. I would have written it anyway because it’s a book I believe you’ll enjoy and benefit from. I’ve been tweeting and Facebooking about it for the past couple of weeks. However, this post is being published today because I realize this is the day that will best serve Libby’s promotional cause…and I’m pleased to do that.

Studying people; the how’s, what’s and why’s can be so fascinating at times.

Monday, upon settling in my room at the Philadelphia Marriott, I asked the cleaning woman if she’d like to make $5 for ironing my shirt. I truly despise ironing and would rather pay someone to do it who would rather have the $5 than than they would to not iron my shirt.

She was delightful and did a great job. When I handed her the $5 she tried to refuse it saying, “It’s on the house.” Why she said that, I don’t know, but of course there was no way that was going to happen. I had to explain, however, that she would be doing me a favor by taking the money. Only then would she would accept it.

Apparently, she simply appreciated the opportunity to be employed and make a living and wanted to add as much value to the experience of a guest as she could. At the same time, she should be compensated for her time and professional skills, but her attitude was certainly admirable.

Then, yesterday afternoon, flying to Philadelphia, I heard (as could practically everyone) the man sitting in back of me and to the right  complaining to his seat mate about having a window seat. “I hate window seats!” he said.

Okay, I can relate, but he was sitting in First Class, with plenty of room in the seat and – while First Class certainly doesn’t have the perks it used to, it’s still better than sitting in a cramped seat. And it’s better than taking the bus…or walking…in a hurricane or in the desert.

After the flight landed, he called his assistant and lambasted her for getting him a window seat and ordered her to make sure “it didn’t happen” to him again. Then, when I saw him in baggage claim, he was complaining about something else to the person who had met him.

The guy could suck all the energy out of a room faster than…well, faster than someone could suck all the energy out of a room (I’m afraid I’m not very good at coming up with clever analogies on the spot).

Two people; two attitudes and – as far as I could tell – two totally different altitudes. At least of inner peace. In that regard, the cleaning professional at the Marriott soars way above the other one.

Thought: Please don’t falsely conclude from this that “poor people are happy and wealthy people are not.” Both can be happy; both can be miserable. It does show – in my opinion – that gratitude for our lot and situation has a lot to do with how happy we are. And, of course, the guy in the plane just might very naturally be a person who looks at the negative side of everything.

Friday’s event in Houston was a lot of fun. Now, after being home for a couple of days, it’s back out this afternoon for three cities in three days; first, Philly for a corporate gig tomorrow, then to Minneapolis for the Get Connected Event with Lisa Nichols, Janet Attwood and Roxanne Emmerich. This one is open to the public so – if you’re anywhere near the Twin Cities – come on and join us. Then, on to Tempe, AZ for another corporate program.

I’ll still be in touch with many of you on Facebook and Twitter during my stops. Also my intent is to blog a couple of times. Let’s see how I do.

Speaking of “how am I doing” my desk is still neat. Yes, it really is. This is a good thing. Might also be surprising to anyone who knows me. It’s definitely been a “mental thing” with me; not a physical one. After all, I’ve read the excellent books, articles and such. The how-to aspect of organizing a desk is fairly straightforward. Yet……..

So, Dr. Mollie Marti – whom I mentioned in the previous post gave me a coaching session after I admitted on her show that I suffer from MDS (Messy Desk Syndrone) – asked me to focus on the following three things every time I made the effort to move something (anything!) off my desk and put it in its proper place:

1. Thoughts: What am I thinking about as I think about as I begin the process? I’m thinking how It’s something I need to do in order to obtain the benefits of having a clean and orderly desk.
2. Emotions: What am I feeling about it? I’m feeling a sense of satisfaction in knowing I’m improving on a defective character trait, and also feeling how great it will…well, feel to have “desk clearity” (yes, “clear-ity”)
3. Actions: Then, take the necessary action because that’s what makes it all work.

Of course, Dr. Mollie reminded me that during our 30 day “desk cleanse” my time out of town does not count. But, that’s okay. I’m starting to feel a bit of the ol’ confidence. I see myself having a clear, neat and orderly desk. That’s not just an affirmation, it’s a commitment to myself and to my productivity.

How are you in this regard? Am I the only with (or rather, who used to have) Messy Desk Syndrome?

I was going to continue the series regarding scripting and memorizing presentations, however, between the first two articles and all the back-and-forth in the comments sections…it seems as though all points on both sides have been made.

In my opinion, the best comment of all in explaining my thoughts (and which explained my thoughts better than I explained my thoughts) was offered by syndicated columnist and author, Lisa Earle McLeod. If you’re interested, her’s is the final comment before mine, which thanked her for her comment. Click here for article and scroll down through Comments Section.

I leave in just a bit for a program tomorrow in Houston, TX then back for the weekend, then gone all next week; two corporate events and one public event in Minneapolis, MN. I haven’t been good about posting on the road. Going to stretch myself a bit and change that.

When I get back I want to write a post regarding my “formerly” messy desk. After hearing me say I suffer from MDS (Messy Desk Syndrome) while she was interviewing me on her show, my dear friend, speaker, author and performance coach, Dr. Mollie Marti provided me a coaching session on how to overcome this problem which has plagued me for years (it is a weakness well worth overcoming).

So far, so good…and I plan to keep it that way.

Well, heading to Dunkin’ Donuts for my cup of coffee and then off to fly the friendly skies.  

Speak with you again soon. Meanwhile, make it a GRRREAT Day!

WOW – what a firestorm Part One ignited. You’ll recall I suggested that your presentation, whether to a large audience, a small group or a one-on-one sales presentation, should be memorized. Realizing that would bring up certain objections/questions, I alluded to those in the article with the hope I could get to them in due course. But responses were immediate and several left no doubt that the fears I mentioned might be a concern…were indeed a concern.

So, I’m having to “call an audible” here and assure everyone that having your presentation memorized does not mean that you:

1. Will sound like a robot; that people will know it’s memorized. Actually, just the opposite. When you realllly know it to the point it becomes part of you, you’ll be able to totally relax instead of worrying in the back of your mind that you might forget something important. And, it appears to your audience to be as natural as it now is.
2. Cannot interact with audience and/or respond to individual audience situations, questions, challenges. Again, the opposite is true. A (truly) memorized presentation allows you to focus on the audience instead of yourself  because you never have to worry about being thrown “off track.” It allows you flexibility.
3. Are phony. Again, when you realllly know your material you get to come from total authenticity, just as the  musician who has rehearsed for countless hours plays that instrument directly from his or her heart instead of having to consciously consider every note.

Memorizing your presentation does not constrict you; it frees you. There is freedom in knowing your material so well that you can test new material, answer questions, read your audience, have fun, relate, get thrown off by outside circumstances and be able to come right back to where you were. You are able to truly connect because you can now focus 100 percent on them and not on yourself and your presentation.

More than anything though, is (in my opinion), the following huge benefit: 

Because you know the material so well, rather than having to focus on yourself, you can focus on bringing ultimate value to your audience, whether large or small group, or the one person right in front of you who can most benefit from owning your product, service or the valuable ideas you desire to communicate.

 Does this make sense or are the same concerns still present? I truly want to know your thoughts.

Whether one speaks in front of a large audience, a small group or does the great majority of their presentations one-on-one, there are generally three presentation formats with which people are familiar; 1. Word-for-Word Memorized; 2. Following a general outline but mostly extemporaneous; 3. Totally off-the-cuff.

Which is best? I have my definite point of view I’d like to share with you, while answering a few concerns that some might have about this view.

My answer is that, other than in very special and unique circumstances, one’s presentation should absolutely be memorized. Yes, “word-for-word” including every pause and gesture.

“WHAT?” You might ask. “Wouldn’t you sound and look totally stiff and unnatural? Wouldn’t the presentation come across as contrived and phony? Shouldn’t you personalize it to those you’re addressing? Isn’t that an insult to your audience, that it’s not really you but instead you’re just an actor acting out a part?”

In the following segments, I’ll answer those very worthy questions, objections and concerns. Before that, however; I’d like to know what you think…and what you think my answers are going to be to the individual concerns mentioned above.

Okay, I’m going to say something that might sound like bragging, but it isn’t:

I do a really good impression/impersonation of Zig Ziglar.

Audiences see me do this at virtually every live program and they laugh, nod their head, and tell me afterwards how I “sound more like Zig than Zig himself.”

But, I’m not bragging.

The reason I’m able to do this is because – early in my sales career – while attending a Zig Ziglar live event I bought one of his six-cassette tape packages and listened to all of them again and again and again and…well, you get the picture. After a while, I could pretty much recite the entire program and sound like Zig while doing it.

One of his vignettes in particular was the answer to a huge challenge I had been facing during my sales presentations and ended up helping me serve a lot more people and, in the process, make a lot more money.

However, when utilizing Zig’s teaching during my actual sales presentations, I didn’t do my Zig impersonation. I didn’t sound like him, move like him or in any way try and “be” Zig Ziglar.

I utilized his amazing teaching. I even used many of his exact words and phrases. But I didn’t do it as a clone of Zig. I did it as me.

Had I tried to be Zig, I would have failed miserably. Why? Because I’m not Zig. I’m me. I also learned a ton from Tom Hopkins, author of the classic, How to Master the Art of Selling. I pretty much memorized his teachings word for word and utilized them the same way I utilized Zig’s. But I never tried to “be” Tom Hopkins. It wouldn’t have worked. After all, I’m not Tom, I’m just little ol’ me.

In The Go-Giver, John David Mann and I discuss The Fourth Law of Stratospheric Success, which says, “The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”

Hence, the title of this article; Adapt…Don’t Adopt.

In other words, choose those from whom you wish to learn; whether it’s an overall system, a process, a skill set, etc. Then, adapt their teachings, implement their instruction, learn it to the point that it actually becomes a part of you. A part of you, but not actually you.

Adapt…don’t adopt.

My friend, Paul Myers, sales copywriter extraordinaire, offers this excellent piece of communication and persuasion advice, both for the written and spoken word. He says, “The purpose of grammar is to help ensure clarity of communication. If grammar gets in the way of getting your point across, toss the rulebook out the window.”

While that advice might make the skin of an English professor crawl (or, is it, make crawl the skin’ of an English professor?),  Myers’ suggestion is right on the mark. The first goal of the communicator (the positive persuader) is to be relatable to the other person. This establishes rapport. Only then can understanding occur and effective communication and/or persuasion take place.

My friend, Stephanie West Allen once sent me an email and, not wanting to end a sentence with a preposition (perish the thought!) :-) and having the excellent sense of humor she has, began with, “So Bob, to what are you up?”  Can you imagine actually asking someone that question, even though it’s more grammatically correct than, “What are you up to?”

The same rules apply for using really BIG words when easier-to-understand words will be…err, easier for the person to understand. And speaking technical jargon to one of the non-technical persuasion? Naw!

But, this article is really about communication and grammar. And, communicating your point in the easiest to understand and most persuasive way possible trumps correct grammar every time.

Don’t it?