Comments on: No Trivial Arguments http://www.burg.com/2009/08/no-trivial-arguments/ Bob Burg's Official Website Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:10:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Tom Cooper http://www.burg.com/2009/08/no-trivial-arguments/comment-page-1/#comment-11560 Tom Cooper Sat, 02 Jul 2011 17:33:15 +0000 http://www.burg.com/?p=1178#comment-11560 I'm reminded of Dale Carnegie's How to win friends and influence people. That book is SO GOOD I try to read it once a year! He recounts this quote from Abraham Lincoln to a young military officer about why he should not fight! "Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and the loss of self-control. Yield larger things to which you can show no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly your own." I’m reminded of Dale Carnegie’s How to win friends and influence people. That book is SO GOOD I try to read it once a year!

He recounts this quote from Abraham Lincoln to a young military officer about why he should not fight!

“Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself
can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford
to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his
temper and the loss of self-control. Yield larger things to which
you can show no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones,
though clearly your own.”

]]> By: Amy Wells http://www.burg.com/2009/08/no-trivial-arguments/comment-page-1/#comment-4566 Amy Wells Sat, 28 Aug 2010 18:25:21 +0000 http://www.burg.com/?p=1178#comment-4566 I found myself on the receiving end of a “I know I am right” situation. And when saying anymore, would have set him below me, I simply thanked him for sharing his perspective, because I felt he hadn’t heard mine. A few days later, as I prayed for him, I saw a beautiful side of him. While Joe was wrong in his assessment, I realized that he is a man with a courageous and beautiful back bone. He stepped out on a limb for what he believed and risked a relationship that has been very lucrative for him. I appreciate him more and will do more to continue to keep our relationship lucrative for him, because in his wrongness, he taught me some rightness….standing up for what I believe in. When we voice what we believe, we can then take it to another level and access the correctness of our belief. Whereas, when we believe without voice, it may just stay there as a belief that could be false. I found myself on the receiving end of a “I know I am right” situation. And when saying anymore, would have set him below me, I simply thanked him for sharing his perspective, because I felt he hadn’t heard mine. A few days later, as I prayed for him, I saw a beautiful side of him. While Joe was wrong in his assessment, I realized that he is a man with a courageous and beautiful back bone. He stepped out on a limb for what he believed and risked a relationship that has been very lucrative for him. I appreciate him more and will do more to continue to keep our relationship lucrative for him, because in his wrongness, he taught me some rightness….standing up for what I believe in.
When we voice what we believe, we can then take it to another level and access the correctness of our belief. Whereas, when we believe without voice, it may just stay there as a belief that could be false.

]]> By: Mike Benoit http://www.burg.com/2009/08/no-trivial-arguments/comment-page-1/#comment-4565 Mike Benoit Sat, 28 Aug 2010 15:18:36 +0000 http://www.burg.com/?p=1178#comment-4565 Bob, I met a business owner who asked me if I felt the city where I live might be a good place to open another location. Just after he asked the question, he listed all the reasons why he shouldn't. Most of his reasons where negatives and "put downs" of a city he has never visited. He set the trap ...oh so tempting :) In the past, I would have reached in my toolbox and pulled out the biggest hammer, and hammered away! The most painful lesson I learned from this method ...the hardest blows were usually deflected (my hammer...my thumb...ouch!) Today, one of the most powerful tools I have is the power of questions ...the questions I ask myself before I speak, followed by the questions I ask the other party. Every once in a while someone will hit an emotional nerve and I'll slip backwards ...just not as often :) Thanks for your timely reminder! Bob, I met a business owner who asked me if I felt the city where I live might be a good place to open another location. Just after he asked the question, he listed all the reasons why he shouldn’t. Most of his reasons where negatives and “put downs” of a city he has never visited.

He set the trap …oh so tempting :)

In the past, I would have reached in my toolbox and pulled out the biggest hammer, and hammered away! The most painful lesson I learned from this method …the hardest blows were usually deflected (my hammer…my thumb…ouch!)

Today, one of the most powerful tools I have is the power of questions …the questions I ask myself before I speak, followed by the questions I ask the other party.

Every once in a while someone will hit an emotional nerve and I’ll slip backwards …just not as often :)

Thanks for your timely reminder!

]]> By: HeatherO http://www.burg.com/2009/08/no-trivial-arguments/comment-page-1/#comment-4558 HeatherO Sat, 28 Aug 2010 12:17:17 +0000 http://www.burg.com/?p=1178#comment-4558 Great post Bob! Leslie Flowers gives a great perspective on this by saying 'everyone is right from their own point of view'. To me recognizing that they really do 'see it that way' and from their own perspective they ARE right in their mind. Recognizing that in order to 'win' somebody else has to lose also helps. Certainly there are some things that are more important than others, the question is 'is it worth it to be right if it means they lose?" Lastly, there is a big difference in being right and being righteous! Sometimes it's better to do the 'right thing' than to 'be right. Of course, having said all of that...well, I'm still 'not there' yet, but I'm working on it :) Great post Bob! Leslie Flowers gives a great perspective on this by saying ‘everyone is right from their own point of view’. To me recognizing that they really do ‘see it that way’ and from their own perspective they ARE right in their mind. Recognizing that in order to ‘win’ somebody else has to lose also helps. Certainly there are some things that are more important than others, the question is ‘is it worth it to be right if it means they lose?”
Lastly, there is a big difference in being right and being righteous! Sometimes it’s better to do the ‘right thing’ than to ‘be right.
Of course, having said all of that…well, I’m still ‘not there’ yet, but I’m working on it :)

]]> By: reallyjeannie http://www.burg.com/2009/08/no-trivial-arguments/comment-page-1/#comment-4557 reallyjeannie Sat, 28 Aug 2010 12:03:19 +0000 http://www.burg.com/?p=1178#comment-4557 p.s. and if the argument won't make me any money, why.will.i.waste.my.time. p.s. and if the argument won’t make me any money, why.will.i.waste.my.time.

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