My friend, prosperity expert, Randy Gage emailed me to ask if I believed in “Intuition” or did I think that believing in such was irrational? Because intuition is a topic I’ve never actually studied in detail, I hesitated to respond too quickly or reflexively without giving it at least enough thought to respond intelligently (or, at least “thinkingly”).

And, because the very term itself brings with it different definitions based on an individual’s belief system, I also wanted to make sure “I was answering what he was asking.”

Knowing me well enough by now to know my belief that we must have a correct premise in order to reach a logical conclusion…you may have guessed (without intuition) that I looked the word up. Indeed, I did and found the following definitions:

 in·tu·i·tion

1: quick and ready insight 2a: immediate apprehension or cognition b: knowledge or conviction gained by intuition c: the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference

It seems as though – as the term, “intuition” is used today, and in the context of his question, that definition 2c is what was being asked.

So, with that in mind – and again, the fact that I have never given this topic serious enough study to come from a position of authority – I would say that we’ve been built (in my opinion, by our Creator, but that of course is another topic) and programmed so that our subconscious bases its decisions/warnings/feelings on two things:

#1 The sum total of every experience we as individuals have ever had; thus, given certain signals from present data, it is able to calculate future conclusions on the sum total of all past events in our lives. I feel pretty strongly that is the case.

#2 The sum total of every experience anyone on earth who has ever lived has had, thus the same as above (this one I’m not too sure about but suspect it might be true. I will say that I’ve seen this reference to “Collective Consciousness” (thanks Randy, for identifying the correct word for me!) in many of what are regarded as the top personal development books of all time).

So, with the above two points in mind, I would say that if some people have a stronger “intuition” or intuitive sense of what is going to happen, despite there not being “evident” rational inference, these people have either worked at developing their intuition or they have (dare I say) “intuitively” tapped into it.

You now know my rather undeveloped thoughts on this topic. Here a brief post on one aspect of this by Randy on his blog  that I didn’t read until after I wrote this post.

Question: what do you think? Is there such a thing as intuition? Is it logical to believe it exists? Is it logical to believe it doesn’t exist? Does everyone have it or just some people? Can it be developed if one doesn’t have it and/or developed further if one does have it? Let us know your thoughts.

Hmmm, intuition. I think I’ll just “go with my gut.”

This article is actually from the “oldies” shelf, from about five or six years ago. But, I came across it while reviewing some archived articles and wanted to share it with you. I have a feeling the “star” of this article is destined to accomplish great things.

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We all seem to realize that children have an intuitive ability to effectively persuade – what I call, “Win Without Intimdation” – and attain their desired results. After all, unless their parents are extremely permissive, it’s difficult for the typical child to get their way solely through forceful intimidation (i.e. ranting, raving, screaming, manipulatively crying) or through passive manipulation, such as being extra nice and/or cooperative, but with an agenda. Thus, they must be able to get what they want through persuasion; not intimidation.

While speaking at an event in Rock Hill, South Carolina recently, I heard two stories of children which were wonderful examples of the Winning Without Intimidation philosophy. Please allow me to share one of them with you today.

One of my clients, Don and Hannah King, have a granddaughter named Christa, whom I believe is either nine or ten years old. A year or so before the following conversation, Don and Hannah had promised to “some day” take her to Europe with them on one of their many overseas business trips.

In early May, Hannah received a telephone call. I will, in parenthesis, provide my commentary.

Christa: “Grandma, when are you going to Europe?” (First, she didn’t ask “if”- she asked “when.” By phrasing her question with assumption – also known as “positive
expectation” – she is increasing the odds that what she wants to happen will happen. I realize that, in this case, that probably wouldn’t cause Hannah and Don to go to Europe if they weren’t going anyway, but it’s still a wonderful principle to follow.)

Hannah: “In June.”

Christa: “Is this the year you are taking me with you, as you promised?” (I don’t believe any commentary is really necessary here however, if it were, I’d say that what she was communicating was, “Grandma, whom I love and respect so much; is this the year that you’re going to show me that you are a person of your word who would never break a promise to her granddaughter whom she loves so much and for whom she wants to set an example of honesty and integrity?”)

Hannah: “But honey, it’s only a month away and you don’t even have a passport.”

(Well, that ended that conversation. Two weeks later, however, Hannah again answered her phone, only to hear the following)…

Christa: “Grandma, I’ve got it.”

Hannah: “You’ve got what?”

Christa: “My passport. I’m ready to go to Europe with you and Grandpa.” (Christa lived in the “solution” – not the “problem.”)

Hannah: “Well, you realize that Grandma and Grandpa will be in a lot of meetings, so sometimes you’ll have to have a babysitter who doesn’t even speak English.”

Christa: “I can handle it.” (Is this kid awesome, or what!? Grandma gave her an objection. She answered it.)

According to Hannah, Christa did great, and was a pleasure to take on the trip. (In other words, Christa lived up to her part of the bargain, proving that when she persuaded, she could also come through and do as she promised, thereby making her next attempt at persuading Grandma and Grandpa easier in advance.)

The principles Christa taught all of us in this story bear review many times:

- First, ask in a way that assumes the answer you want.

- Secondly, give the person something admirable to live up to.

- Thirdly, if there is a problem, find the solution.

- Fourth, answer any objections. And…

- Fifth, live up to the promises you made, making persuasion
with that party easier the next time around.

Well done, Christa!

Well, it’s coming down to the wire; the Obama Administration is perhaps just weeks away from enacting legislation that will put our loved ones’ health in the hands of a colossal government bureaucracy comprised of nameless/faceless administrators, drive up job-killing taxes through massive spending, create huge waiting lists for life-saving procedures, cause a shortage of doctors, significantly harm the middle class and poor, elicit health-care rationing as we’ve never before experienced, and, in the end, bring us an inferior level of healthcare.

All of these are certain to be true…and presenting our case like this is exactly the WRONG way to win the hearts and minds of those we are trying to persuade.

Instead, we must communicate the issue at the very heart of this matter and which – as far as I can tell – no one; including any of the usual “Pro-Economic Liberty” pundits, are explaining.

In fact, the Pro-Universal Crowd has done a brilliant job of framing a false argument:

“Do we stick with a Free-Market Healthcare system which is not working?”

or…

“Do we at least do something to try and help; for example, go to a system of Universal Healthcare?”

And (anti-Constitutionality aside), that question would make sense, except…

WE DON’T CURRENTLY HAVE A FREE-MARKET BASED HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. (Sorry for shouting but has nobody noticed that??!!)

Actually, we haven’t had a market-based healthcare system in over 50 years. When we did, it worked magnificently well for everyone, including the financially disadvantaged. Only after government first inched its way in and then eventually controlled nearly every aspect of it did we find ourselves in the predicament we are currently in, with the masses now asking the government to solve the very problem they created (I can’t think of anything more nonsensical).

While I explain all this in my five-part series, Check Your Healthcare Premises, it hardly matters if we don’t effectively communicate this faulty premise to those who advocate Socialized (i.e. Socialistic) Healthcare.  

We must “control the frame” and re-direct the argument from a choice between a current “free-market” system (which it is not) that doesn’t work (and it doesn’t) and a socialized system of healthcare that will be absolutely disastrous…and offer a third choice; indeed, the only choice that can work, and – even better – has proven to work; a healthcare system based on the free market.

The next time someone presents the argument as the false choice of two, simply tell them (with no defensiveness): “We don’t have a free market healthcare system.”

They will say, “Of course we do; how can you say that we don’t?”

You respond: “There are 133,000 pages of health care regulation in the U.S. Federal Register. Please tell me why you would consider that to be free market.”

You have just reframed the debate. Now, he/she must explain why today’s system IS market-based instead of you explaining that our current government-controlled system works just fine (which it doesn’t, and everyone knows it doesn’t and it doesn’t do anyone any good when anyone tries to say differently).

They might, in desperation, say, “but something has to change.”

You respond: “Absolutely healthcare needs to change. Wouldn’t you agree that the right change is to the system that worked before; the free market? After all, you are genuinely concerned that people who truly need medical care get it, aren’t you?”

Again, you’ve reframed this to highlight the benevolence of the free market rather than an “I don’t care about others” attitude that they wrongly believe.

Important: Once the person recognizes (or, your reader or listener understands) that the free market is not to blame for our current healthcare woes, you can offer a third alternative; that we get government OUT of our healthcare system and go back to the excellent system we once had (either read my five-part series or utilize information you already know that provides the benefits of a free-market healthcare system).

The key is that – once you set the correct premise and offer the third alternative, you must remain totally disciplined to not get “sucked into” arguing their false dilemma and continue to bring it back to the correct premise.

If we can do this consistently, and teach our fellow lovers of liberty how to do the same, then not only will we not be saddled with a socialized system of healthcare that we’ll never be able to reverse, but we’ll provide everyone; including the children, the elderly and the financially disadvantaged with the benefits of the one healthcare system that truly works…the free market.

In Part One we discussed a productive mindset for advancing within the company for which you’re working; be ”larger than your present place.” This means adding so much value “above and beyond” what’s expected that you simply no longer fit your position, are eventually noticed for such, and promoted. Of the many excellent responses to the post, I thought website designer, Cesar Abueg summed it up perfectly:

“I remember working in the warehouse of a retail store. I worked hard and got to ‘3rd Key’ where it paid more, managed others, etc. It was refreshing and it felt great after all that hard work. Stand out, get noticed, take risks, and you’ll have a better chance of getting advanced.”

Other times, however, it won’t happen. Perhaps your immediate boss (or even company culture) works from the competitive mindset that believes in keeping people down. Or, the right people are currently in the right place and “they ain’t movin’ anytime soon.” Life is life and either of the above scenarios are certainly possibilities.

You mght feel the time is right to find a new company to work for or even to go into business for yourself. In either case, however, the answer remains the same…be “larger than your present place.”

 In their book, The 12 Factors of Business Success, Dr. Kevin Hogan, Dave Lakhani and Dr. Mollie Marti advise:

“As long as you are in a job, learn while you earn. And, while you’re doing so, be a huge asset to your company. Make it so that when you leave your company they will have a very hard time replacing you for the same money. The mind-set of people who are eventually going to move from employment to building wealth is to create as much success for their current employer as possible. Be loyal to your company, help a division grow, train an awesome sales team, and so forth. Then take those skills and knowledge into your own adventures.”

Excellent advice. And, it sounds similar to a personal story related by Kimberly Catanzaro, who now owns her own business as a Virtual Assistant. She wrote:

“…I worked at our local sanitation company and was put on phones 1/2 day each day. To some it may have seemed a menial task, but it was exactly what I needed at the time and I truly embraced it and ‘loved’ every person that called in. What resulted was many unsolicited calls to my boss to say ‘what a wonderful girl you have answering phones’. It was very rewarding for me. I have since moved on to owning my own business and truly love what I do.

Kimberly actually lives in my town of Jupiter, FL and I know she has a very successful and thriving business.

So, regardless of whether you want to advance within your company heirarchy, move upward to another company, or begin your own enterprise, be larger than your present place. It works, and brings with it a sense of personal satisfaction that is hard to beat

I’m often asked what one should do when in a job position they don’t enjoy. Some say they would like to be promoted within the company to a position that would be more fulfilling and/or would pay better. Others would simply like to find a job at another company. In both cases, however, they feel stuck where they are.

While I’m sure there is lots of excellent advice to be provided in this regard, unfortunately, most of it is beyond the scope of my knowledge. I know of only one method of advancement.  While I believe I understood this method rather intuitively by observing my Parent’s personal work ethic as owners of their business, the concept was crystallized for me the first time I read Wallace D. Wattles’ 1910 classic, The Science of Getting Rich.

He advised being “Larger than your present place.” In other words, in the same way that new species are formed only by organisms having “more life than can be expressed in the functions of its {present} plane,” by providing more in value than what you’re being paid to provide, opportunity will open up. Perhaps not in that company (though it often will), and probably not immediately, but it is much more likely to happen than if you simply “tread water.”

Recently I watched a major-league pitcher being interviewed. He is what’s known as a “middle-inning reliver. Perhaps the least glorious pitching position in baseball, it contains neither the adrenaline rush nor the glory of the roles of starter or closer, and it’s even a step below late-inning set-up. (Still, in my opinion, there are perhaps worse jobs on earth.)

His attitude was terrific. He simply said that while in this role he’ll do the very best he can to add value to the team and that, “When I prove my worth to the Manager, I’m sure I’ll get a shot at Closer.”

It reminded me of a local woman I know who is head-teller at her bank with aspirations for further advancement. She began as a regular teller but continually made herself available to take on extra assignments and help out wherever and whenever she could. And, she didn’t wait to be asked; she sought out the opportunities. As soon as the current head-teller left, she got the shot at “Closer.”

Has something similar ever happened to you or someone you know?

In Part Two, we’ll see what the best course of action is if, while you’re “stuck” in your present position, you’d either like to get a job somewhere else or even begin your own business.

In his excellent book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey cites Habit Number Five as, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Excellent advice. That one point will make everyone’s relationships much more, well…effective.

Complementary to that habit, it’s equally important to be sure that, in communicating your point, you do so in such a way that the other person understands you and what you mean to say.

I often suggest that when it comes to effective communication, the onus is always on us to be sure the other person understands our point/want/need. I’ll be forever grateful to one of my early mentors who told me, “Burg, when the shooter misses the target, it ain’t the target’s fault.”

We can’t expect others to put that burden of understanding on themselves so, if our goal is to be the most effective, positively powerful persuader we can be, we must accept that responsibility.

While keeping the importance of tact and diplomacy in mind, it’s imperative to be so clear in your message that there’s little or no chance of misinterpretation. In other words, avoid giving mixed messages.

What is a mixed message? Actually there are different types. Today, let’s focus on one. This is when a person says one thing, but follows it up with an “opposite.” For example, you say to your employee, “Al, I definitely need the specs by this Friday, but don’t rush if it’s going to mean a substandard job.”

Well, what exactly does this mean? Is Friday the deadline, or is excellence the top priority? What if, for whatever reason, both deadline and top quality are not possible? If Al doesn’t know enough (or know how) to ask for clarification, you might receive specs that are too late to present to your prospect, or not up to quality standards.

How do you ensure that *you* don’t fall victim to a mixed message? Simply by putting the onus of clarification on yourself. This is easiest when using an “I message.”

For example, imagine your boss tells you, “I definitely need the specs by this Friday, but don’t rush if it’s going to mean a substandard job.” You can say, “Mary, just for my own clarification, as I want to make sure and deliver the specs in the way you want them delivered, is it more important to you that…” and complete the question.

So, remember, it’s up to us to be sure our message is understood by the recipient, and that we understand their message. And, there’s nothing “mixed” about that.

A reader asked if I would post an article on, what he called, “business courtesy.” His premise is that, since we now have a huge number of communication media at our disposal, common courtesies such as returning phone calls, emails and other communiqués should be a no-brainer. Yet, he claims, we have – as a people – become ruder and ruder in this regard.

Though I’m not sure the level of rudeness is any greater than it ever was (because, actually, if often was), I still think he brings up an excellent point. What’s interesting to me is that in discussing this with some friends, the responses – from those who actually returned my calls, emails and tweets - :-) were framed mainly in terms of time management. While that’s important – and certainly an area in which I myself certainly need improvement – I think the problem itself runs a lot deeper. I don’t believe time management is the core issue.

In my opinion, this actually has less to do with time management and technology and more to do with what one values. For example, everyone knows I return all telephone calls and emails and – assuming I’m in town or have access to email – I do it on a timely basis. Right or wrong, it is a value of mine; it’s something I believe is important and thus it happens.

On the other hand – and this is a biggie – my sense of time-management stinks and I definitely need to better manage the way I respond so that it allows me to be as productive as possible. I can easily get caught in the “non-productivity via non-productive communication” mode.

Others simply don’t place a value on this. It’s the way they are, it aligns with their value system, and that’s just the way it is. Some of them are not as successful as they could be because of this. Others are extremely successful – in my opinion – in spite of this. However, they are equal-opportunity “non-responders” so, you either like them or you don’t; you do business with them or you don’t; you associate with them or you don’t, by your own choosing; understanding that’s simply the rules they live by.

The ones that perhaps…for lack of a better term…offend my sensibilities are those who are “selective responders.” These are the people who respond only to those they feel can “do something” for them or serve their own agendas in some way. Of course, many would say that the person doing that is simply wise. Obviously, since it runs contrary to my personal philosophy, I would disagree.

I do believe that it is important to manage our time correctly and certainly not be a slave to every person who tries and contact us for their own agenda.

My feeling, though, is that, while modern technology has actually made time even scarcer because it’s given us so much more to do (again, my opinion only), it also makes it quite simple and painless to at least courteously respond, even if it’s just a quick email (NOT an autoresponder).

Depending upon the situation, it could say something like, “I’m so sorry; time right now doesn’t permit me to have a detailed correspondence. However, please know that it’s nothing personal and, if you can briefly provide me with some basic information, I can then determine if we should take it to the next level.”

With someone with whom you have an already familiar relationship it might be, “Pat, I’m sorry; have some time challenges at the moment, but didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you. ”

With that said, by and large, I find I can always take at least two or three minutes to speak with someone who really wants to speak with me. I do find myself more and more having to politely set “time boundaries” before these calls. And, that seems to work just fine.

Again, though; I’m really not sure I have this one completely correct and I’d love to know your opinion.

Leading a multi-week conference call series, the assignment between sessions was to focus on gratitude throughout the week. 

Reported one participant, Jose, “The more I focused on gratitude and what I was grateful for, the less negative self-talk was taking place in my head.”

All right, Jose! (and I literally mean, “all right!”)

Makes sense, doesn’t it? Shine a light and darkness disappears. When we shine the light of gratitude on the darkness of ungrateful thinking, the harmful sniping and self-talk practically disappears and we are happier.

After all, the mind cannot simultaneously hold two opposing thoughts. You simply cannot focus on gratitude…and feel miserable.

In my program, “Master Your Traits – Master Yourself” I devote one entire section to “Gratitude.” And, it’s the very first trait of the 13 in total. Why? Three reasons: 

#1 Gratitude is the foundation for all the other traits. Like the physical foundation that allows a high-rise building to stay standing tall and sturdy, unfazed by strong and unrelenting winds, gratitude is the emotional foundation upon which all of the other traits/characteristics can flourish. 

#2 Your level of gratitude determines your level of happiness, as well as your potential for success. It’s difficult to be happy without gratitude. Let’s face it, constantly focus on the negative and living life just doesn’t feel very good. When you don’t feel very good, it’s difficult to be successful. Sure, people who are angry, resentful, depressed, etc., can still make money (though, not as often and not as easily as they otherwise would), but are still not “successful” in terms of feeling good about themselves and what they’ve accomplished. 

#3 Gratitude keeps you closer to the Source Who provides us the many reasons to be grateful. According to Wallace D. Wattles, in his classic, The Science of Getting Rich, the nearer we are to the Source of all good, the more good we will receive. He says,

“…a soul that is always grateful lives in closer touch with the Creator than one who never looks to Him in thankful acknowledgment. When good things come to us, the more gratefully we fix our minds on the Supreme Power, the more good things we will receive – and the more rapidly they will come. The reason for this is simply that the mental attitude of gratitude draws the mind into closer touch with the Source from which the blessings come.”

And, this could actually be a fourth reason; being grateful is physically healthier than not being grateful. In her excellent book, Ready, Set…Grow, Dondi Scumaci referred to a number of studies that showed a direct line between gratitude and health, summing it up by saying:

“Gratitude is a powerful thing. It produces resiliency and hope. Gratitude encourages the heart. Gratitude heals.”

So, a suggestion for the coming week? Be like Jose and focus on gratitude; 24/7 if you can. To help you do this, write the word “Gratitude” on a yellow “sticky note” and put it everywhere you can see it during the day; on your computer, on your walls, on your bathroom mirror, on your telephone. And, every time you see it, ask yourself, “For what do I have to be grateful?”

Remember: it doesn’t have to be anything more than being grateful for your sight, hearing, senses of touch, taste or smell, ability to walk, breathe without a respirator, having a roof over your head, food in your stomach or that delicious first cup of coffee in the morning, etc.

So, in cultivating the Habit of Happiness, it all seems to come down to Gratitude. And, despite external circumstances, an “attitude of gratitude” is always within our control.

Summing up Part One, we could say that Happiness is both a decision and a skill-set. And, we can actually develop the Habit of Happiness.

In this article, I’d like to quote several passages from one of my favorite books on this topic. Appropriately enough, it’s entitled Happiness. The author is my dear friend, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. He writes:

“We each have much to appreciate and enjoy every day of our lives. What stops us? It’s easy to take for granted  that which we already have. We are excited with new things. We focus on the pleasure and feel good. After we get used to what we have, we tend not to focus on it any longer. We tend to focus instead on what we don’t have. The Sages taught, ‘He who has one hundred wants two hundred.’ Focusing on what you are missing makes you overlook what you have.”

He suggested the following exercise, which helped me a great deal in the days when I was not as appreciative of all my blessing as I should have been:

“Train your brain to become more mindfully aware of all that you can appreciate and enjoy. Be mindful of your ability to see. Be mindful of your ability to hear. Be mindful of your ability to talk. Be mindful of your ability to walk. Be mindful about your ability to move your hands, and to lift, pull, turn, press, and hold things with them. This alone will transform your life. The person who is mindful about these things will have a brain that is so full of appreciation and enjoyment that it will be free from many of the thoughts and pictures that create bad feelings.”

He then went on to list a large amount of other things, gifts and possessions that one might take for granted and suggesting:

“Imagine how appreciative you would feel if you were missing all that you have and then you obtained them one by one. This is a great exercise to practice when your mind is free and otherwise would focus on worries or on unhappiness-producing thoughts.”

It certainly helped me. Now, I was thinking this was going to be a two-part series but, would it be okay with you if we took it one step further?

Until next time, Be Happy (I know, I could have said “Don’t Worry Be Happy” but the younger readers probably don’t remember that hit song by Bobby McFerrin).

President Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying, “A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.” I believe that is very wise, and nearly 100 percent correct. I also think that – for those who do not have the natural inclination to be happy and don’t have the to knowledge to create this state of mind - any man or woman can benefit from learning happiness skills and habits.

There are numerous books on this topic, many of them terrific, including (but certainly not limited to) The Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama and Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff.

I’m currently re-studying Maxwell Maltz’ classic, Psycho-Cybernetics. He taught that, through our “creative mechanism” we can develop the correct responses to situations that result in a formed positive habit; in other words, without having to “think or decide.”

In his chapter entitled, Acquiring The Habit of Happiness” Dr. Maltz noted that ”fully 95% of our behavor, feeling, and response is habitual…what we need to understand is that these {negative} habits…can be modified, changed or reversed simply by taking the trouble to make a conscious decision and then, practicing or ‘acting out’ the new response or behavior.”

Sounds like good news to me. In other words, if one truly desires to be happy and is willing to consciously change their habitual responses in order to form a new habit, they can actually be a “Happy Person.

In Part 2 we’ll look at a very easy practice exercise to get us on our way to this very worthwhile goal by tapping into another of my favorite books on this topic.